Remember me?

If you tell the truth, you don’t have to have good memory, thus spoke Mark Twain.

In my case, I am forced to resort to the easiest way, lie because, yes, I have a very bad memory of people, names and places.

I get very seriously nervous when some one looks in to my eyes and ask whether I remember them!

I tend to look away and yes, you guessed it, tell a lie. How can I tell them that I don’t have an iota of memory of their face or name?

I got in to tangle because of this bad vibe and have accosted all kinds of people who either force me to recall their name or association and when I express my inability, look at me as if I am a totally worthless person; all because I couldn’t recall their name!

Things have gone out of control several times!

Like it happened few years ago in amchi Mumbai; in the crowded local train where I was hardly able to scratch my own back – without making the nearby commuters glare at me – a person whose face was barely visible literally shouted at me; “Rao saab. How are you? How come you are travelling in this local train?”

I peeked at the face and there were no bells sounding in my brain.

I deliberately looked away  as if I had not heard him and started reading the morning newspaper held tightly in one hand.

The man was not the one to give up; he squeezed through the thick maze of humans and came and stood directly in front of me and showed his tobacco stained teeth and smiled.

“Ha, now you tell me. How come you are in Mumbai local?”

I looked at the face and scratched my head. Who the hell is this man? Is he a customer of my bank? Or is he staying near my society?

“Why? Don't you don’t remember me?.” He looked with an accusing look.

I spoke with a straight face; “sorry. I am confused. You see, some one I know, looks exactly like you, with..” I tried to find the right word. “ perhaps, some change in the hair style. He is my cousin. That’s why I got confused.”

To say the least, he was not convinced with my just made up story.

“What cousin? I know every one in your family. Tell me whom are you referring to that I am not aware?”

I was clean bowled.

Who the hell is this guy? He knows every one in our family?

I just saw that the train was about to halt. I pushed people around me made my way, got down and literally ran outside.

I was scared that he too would jump from the train and start following me. But there was no sign of him; I stared at the board on the platform; in my hurry to get away from him, I had got down three stations before my destination. I have to once again squeeze my body inside another train!

I cursed that guy with tobacco stained teeth.

There are few who wont let you get away easily. They insist that you must recognize them. 

Take the case of a distant relative whom I met and as usual, couldn’t recognize him.

The tall and middle aged man happily slapped my back and I almost fell down on the track; I was standing on the edge of the platform, leaning to find whether the train was arriving.

I controlled my anger and was about to say something very bad when the man guffawed. “So, how are you, Raj? And by the way, how is your wife, Bharathi? I just met her brother in Bangalore where I had gone for a marriage and guess what; Venky your college friend also was there. And hey, do give regards to Lalitha, your mother. It’s been ages since I saw her.” He spoke non stop.

It took me couple of minutes to understand what he was talking!

He knows my mother, my wife, my brother in law and he even mentioned my college friends! Who the hell is he? I was wondering.

He slapped my back again. I was sure it was his habit to slap people on the back; wincing with pain, I looked up to his face and tried to place him in to the maze of my relatives, friends and known people.

Blank. My mind was completely blank.

“Hey you are looking lost. You still don’t know who I am?” The stranger challenged me.

It was time to tell the truth, I just nodded my head negatively.

“Ok. I am your maternal uncle, Ramu is there na, his wife’s brother-in-law’s younger brother. Don’t you remember? I attended your marriage yaar?” 

How could I tell him that his was one of  thousands of faces I saw in my marriage, ages ago? But then, how does he know my brother in law?

I spoke barely recognizing my own voice. “But then how come you know Ravi and Venky?” 

He guffawed.

“Met him in your marriage along with Venky. Of course, I had to try very hard for him to recall our association.”

I desperately looked for a getaway.

So, when I moved from Mumbai to Bangalore, I thought the worst is over. As I came back to my hometown after nearly 25 years, chances of meeting people who belong to the category I call, ‘known strangers’ was less.

I was wrong!

What happened last night was a scene straight from a very bad horror movie.

The man I stumbled upon yesterday late evening made me feel that I should flee back to Mumbai!

As usual I was walking my way home from Ulsoor as is my habit and literally, this man crashed his bike on my back.

Even as I got up, dusted my pant and picked up my bag, he got down from the bike and stood in front of me; all of six feet six inches.

“I am shouting your name for the past five minutes. What happened to you? Any problem with your ear? You were so engrossed in thinking you didn’t even hear my bike horn. Look, even though I braked hard, still you got hit.”

As usual I just did not know who that great man was; I am sure his bike’s brakes are not working and I was, believe it or not, walking on the edge of the virtually empty road.

I looked up and tried to smile but couldn’t. The leg still hurt.

“When did you come back from Mumbai? Yesterday I met Imbu murthy and he didn’t utter a word about you. Also, I met your brother Keshav couple of days ago. He also did not mention anything about your arrival. So how are you? Did you by any chance at least call Yaduveer?”

I was stumped! Honest to god, I just did not know who this man, who hit me from bike was. As usual, he knew a plethora of persons both related and from my friends’ circle.

My god, I travelled 1200 kilometers to find respite from these known strangers; but it seems that god has other plans.

I decided that enough was enough. 

It is payback time!

“I just landed last week. Still trying to settle down. It’s been more than 2 decades since I left this city. So how are you and are you still in the same bank?”

“What bank? What are you saying?" The man completely confused looked in bewilderment.

I cleared my throat.

“Sorry Raghu. I got confused. Too much work. That’s one reason why I walk back leaving my car in office, every alternate day.”

“Raghu? Whom are you referring? I am not Raghu. Are you ok?” The bewildered man took couple of steps back and glared at me.

“But you and Raghu, my friend from Mumbai who also came back to Bangalore along with me look very much alike. I am sorry Anil. Now I recall, you are Anil from Airtel? Right. Hey I have loads of problem and good that I met you. Perhaps you can solve it for me.” I lied with as straight a face as possible.

“Something is seriously wrong with you Raj. Why are you confusing me with other people? Airtel?

Man, you are really disturbed. I am your college friend Satish. For god’s sake, if you still don’t remember, I will show you some pictures we took when we went for outings to Ooty.”

The man called Satish literally pleaded.

I decided to give it one more twist.

“Satish? The thin man who failed in 3rd semester? Come on man, you don’t look like him at all. I am sure you are pulling my legs. Now I recall where I have seen you. In Venu’s party three days ago! Right?”

Needless to say, the man who called himself Satish ran towards his bike, put on his helmet and literally sped away.

It was time for me to smile.