The Interview

Should I count this as a blessing of my laziness that I have to do something very very important which is pending from the last one month and I’m utilizing my free time (actually lockdown time)? (This was written during COVID19 pandemic. It may come under historic sources in future.* Take a note future researchers*) to do something which I’ve been dreaming of from the end of my 2nd internship.

This episode which you are going to read is the story about the interview of my 3rd internship.

AN INTERVIEW

The above mentioned phenomena is like kissing- the more you practice, the more you master. According to those people who have given interviews more than once in their lifetime ( I call them wannabe interview experts), giving multiple interviews will boast your self-confidence as well as build your immunity against anxiety during interviews. But unfortunately, this hypothesis didn’t work for me – neither in kissing ( single from last 23 years) nor for interviews.

AND THE STORY BEGINS

It must be my 4th / 5th interview, however 1st in the field of archaeology- FYI : it is very difficult to get an internship or even get an opportunity to attend an interview in the field of Archaeology ( if any future unemployed archaeologist is reading this, my entire sympathies are with you. I could sense that ‘pain with a smile’ at this moment).

One of our ‘Overly Enthusiastic but Worst at Work’ professor ( I’m sure most of you all have experienced such kind of professors in their entire lifespan. If not, then you haven’t really enjoyed your life at fullest. What a boring person you are!) was involved with a project in collaboration with State govt. and some other college of Archaeology. Of course these people needed some cheap labor and thus the decision was made to exploit the poor student’s time as well as their energy in the name of internship.

To make the impact stronger and also to make the project look very important as well to make other colleagues jealous ( the last one is the real reason though ), it was decided that interviews will be taken and the selected students would get internship, a certificate after completion as well as some money ( the last one is the real reason for which I applied).

Nearly a month passed after sending the mail and all required formalities we done, our exams got over, winter break too got over, however ‘OEWW’ didn’t inform us anything about the interview. In order to avoid the queries related to the interview he even blocked most of the students on social media platforms so that they can stop troubling him by asking the questions related to the interview( I wish we could do the same thing with our relatives, not on our phones but on our parent’s phone).

Finally, after my 15 unsuccessful romantic dates and 10 breakups ( just kidding, remember single from last 23 years *CRIESSSSS*)  I received a mail from him while I was flirting with my crush on Instagram ( FYI : I’ve crush on this person from last 6 years *BLUSH BLUSH*). Damn look at the timing, I was already dreaming of my marriage with my crush but now to add more to it, I was dreaming of our honeymoon with the stipend of Rs. 3000/- available to me if I get selected in this internship.

ARRIVAL OF GOOSEBUMPS DIVAS

Seems like the organizers have already decided to mess up with our weekend. So after a brief discussion, it was decided that the interview will be held on a Saturday ( yes you read that right. Who keeps an interview on Saturday *salty tears everywhere*). The venue was decided, the timing was decided, the food and snacks that the interviewers were going to eat were decided. However the interviewers and the kind of questions that were going to be asked was not disclosed ( I know it seems like an interview of a CBI or IAS candidate but believe me it wasn’t!).

Finally the day ( Saturday [ insert innumerable crying emojis here ] ) arrived and all the candidates or Bali ka bakri/ bakra ( because I’m a feminist) were ready with their properly ironed clothes as well as hair (lol) as well as with all the documents ( including one which the govt. demands for CAA) ( lol again) only to get informed by the authorities that there’s at least an hour of delay in the interview.

Bored us, we sat on the stairs beside the room and indulged ourselves into the most important thing ever discovered by humankind ( feminism rocks!) – GOSSIPING. Mind u, that this session included equal no. of boys as there were girls! This was our way of avenging all those hardships and pains that the interviewers gave us by delaying the interview, not answering our queries, keeping secrets, keeping Saturday as the interview day and the most important of all- not sharing the food and the snacks which they were eating. We made everyone of them to come outside and make a request to lower our volume ( this really helps. It also has calming effects. Try this if u too are going for an annoying interview. Thank me later!!!!!!!).

Finally after waiting for 3 rounds of tea and snacks that the interviewers had, my name was called. Okay, so this person came outside and called my name. About this person- we were (are) actually FB friend however never interacted. The day he saw me in college he blushed and smiled which was really weird for me. No one in my entire life blushed after looking at me. Anyway I felt very very weird. Even this time he did the same thing and FYI he was one of the member from the interview panel(lol) ( at this point I started wondering what kind of questions he gonna ask me ) (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA).

MEREKO TOH AISA DHAKDHAK HO RELA THA

I want inside expecting that there will be only 2 interviewers but somehow there were 5 ( nervous lols). So first let me introduce to all the % members of the panel.

1-     U already know this person.

2-     He was a professor who would never smile back if u smile at him. Instead he would look at you as if you had an affair with his wife ( I guess he was a feminist because he looked at girls and boys in a same way) (HAHAHAHAHA my sense of humor)

3-     OEWW

4-     This person was my ex-roommate and she new my undergraduate professor very well. Which means all my reputation will be gone if I didn’t perform very well in the interview. ( the tension mounted up on me after looking at her)

5-     So this person was the main person why I was supposed to have panic attack. The reason was because HE WAS MY CRUSH’S FRIEND !!!!!!!! ( remember with whom I was dreaming about the honeymoon . the same one ) ( FYI: I’m very loyal to my profession, therefore I have a crush on an archaeology student) ( feeling proud with 69 others).

Thus this was the situation that I had to face prior to my interview, instead of thinking about the questions that they were going to ask me, I was thinking about these people and was preparing for the worst.

    

MANN KI BAAT

As I entered into the lions den ( kindly notice that I have not used any apostrophe and you know the reason), I was made comfortable ( not really!). Merely after resting my bum for 2 seconds, the horrible and threatening questions were thrown at me. The questions which were fired at me were all facts based questions. This was so new to me. As already mentioned, I have attended 2 interviews before, however no one asked me any facts based question in those interviews. I noticed that these loins were more interested in the theoretical knowledge than in practical knowledge.

I consider these of knowledge as well as encouragement to these kind of knowledge useless. Take for example Pythagoras theorem or any other equations from Algebra, we all might have wondered in our lifetime where and how to use them ( except if you are an engineer, architect, maths profressor or into any profession that uses maths ). That’s why our Railway Minister, Mr. Goyal is my favourite as he rightly said that don’t get into that maths, that maths have never helped Einstein to discover gravity (hahahahahahaha…..). Not only maths , this scenario is with every subject. Until and unless we are not thought or encouraged to think into the practical aspect these subjects, we would get more ministers like him. It’s time to change the way of treatment that we do to the subject. Instead of giving importance to the theoretical knowledge more lets thrive for how much the student applies its practical aspect.

PICTURE ABHI BAAKI HE MERE DOST

All the questions that were asked to me were either theoretical or factual. The more questions I answered the more I could see weird facial expressions of interviewers. Alas! I could also see my honeymoon dream shattering along with my reputation in front of my crush ( insert the saddest emoji that you could). Last but not the least OEWW asked me a question which was surprisingly a practical based question. I was so happy that I answered that question with full confidence. There was a bright smile on his face, as I managed to impress him with my reply. He praised my answer and also encouraged my way of thinking. It was my ‘main tereko harami samajhti thi par tu toh dev manus nikla re moment!’.

Honestly this was the worst interview of my life but after a month I got a mail in which it was written that I got selected and the internship would start from March. And now I’m here at home in march utilizing my lock down time to write this story as our internship got cancelled due to COVID-19.

So that’s ladies and gentlemen ‘the interview’ which has both tragedy and comedy in it. FYI my crush knows nothing about it. His friend has not discussed anything about me ( thank you for wasting your time )