Understanding The Paradox

A mother to his Son:

“What the hell? Are you okay with your wife earning more than you?”

”Did you think of your family’s reputation where a daughter in law earns more than her husband?”

“How can you sleep peacefully at night?”

”Did you even think of your self-respect?”

“What is wrong with you “

How the husband consoles himself:

a. Try to stop your wife earning more than you at any cost.

b. Try to switch job.

c. If a lady earns more, she might get arrogant and will not take care of you properly.

To the In-Laws in case they support her:

“Will your daughter in law take care of you if she is earning more?”

“We are damn sure she will not get up early and do all her household works?”

“Ask your daughter in law to quit her job. “

“Involve her in more household activities.”

Everyone would have come across or experienced these situations in their life. I really don’t have to tell you what I am pointing to. There can be many reasons why a girl might make more money than a boy. Say for example, they may belong to different sectors of employment or the boy wouldn’t have got the chance to prove himself in the field of his passion or it could be that the girl is actually more talented than the boy. So, people who aren’t aware of all these will actually tell that the girl that she is very lucky that her husband earns more and that she has hit a jackpot. The irony is, even in opposite case where she gets to earn more, then also the girl will be the primary victim because they pity her which she never wanted. And slowly that sympathy turns into jealousy or may be something else. To change this biased and gender centric mentality of our elders is an impossible task and being silent or maintaining our stand on this is not the solution.

Hence to all the female readers, never ever regret or feel bad that you are earning more. Take pride in what you do. Please remember that the people who are pointing their fingers at you might have never realized the importance of following passion. They wouldn’t have experienced the difficulties you have gone through your education, your job, your struggle to reach the level you are. They wouldn’t have felt the happiness you would feel when you get appreciation for your efforts in work. So, ignore all those chauvinistic comments behind and excel in your career. Never think to stop or quit your job. Even I thought of quitting my job after getting married and be happy sitting at home. But thanks to some good people in my life who made me realize what I am good at and what I can do in my career. Mind you, there will be people around you who would actually be happy when you progress in your career. Be around them, talk with them, follow your dreams but never regret earning more than your husband.

Before I end up this, I would take this opportunity to appreciate all those men who support their wives in this aspect. Everyone has to realize that it’s the total revenue of the family that increases at the end of the day, and I think that is what really matters.