Down. Down. Down.
Down. Down. Down.
Spiralling into chaos
An endless fall
Will, there ever be an end
Will the tears ever fall
The final push is not quite there yet
Give me hope
There might be a chance to save me yet
I feel it
The final push
But wait, what’s this?
I’m pushing back
I feel it
But I’m pushing it back
Where’s the weeping shoulder, offered to all?
Where’s my knight in shining armour?
I can’t help but want to make the fall
Helplessness, despair - my greatest friends
Who is my enemy - heaven or hell?
There’s a flicker of hope, with a flicker of pain
Tell me why this feels like endless rain…
Is this the reason sleep evades me?
[after 30 minutes]
It’s back.
[after another 30 minutes]
Sizzling, blinding
White hot fury
Is there a way to stop this from becoming gory? Oh, the agony
Some dazzle and some shine
But for me - I think...I think, for me, there’s no light
But oh gosh! Help me so -
How can I forget the moments of hope
When all seems fine
I can feel the fire, its heat and ignore the pain
Should I ignore it? Or should I let out my pain?
It aches and aches
So much pressure
They say pressure creates diamonds
Often they forget - being valued for your light and evading your shade
I’m no diamond, ruby, sapphire or emerald
I’m the iron in the smith’s hammer
No special stone or gold
Remind me of my strength, for I already remember all my pain
I think I just regained control
But oh, wait -
I’m spiralling again.
Down. Down. Down.
Fuck.
I’m in it. Again.
Falling. Falling. No - I’ve already fallen.
Down and down. Down the spiral.