Outsider

I give you a call “r u there”?

Standing outside the door of your heart

' Coming', I hear the reply…

I wait….

There are territories I cannot chart.

I wait and wait…

As you drag out of her …from the bed

You wash and wipe…as I patiently wait

The marks are all over you… in red.

I quietly wait…I know you will come down

Yes I am sure you will

Time passes

And I find myself waiting still.

Tears start brimming in eyes

As I tend to give you another call

Yes you are attending to something more imp

I can feel...but I dare not cross the wall.

Hey love…you know I am waiting for you

It’s me …donot you recognize

Then why are you taking so late to come

Your priorities are coming to me as a surprise.

And as my tears start flowing down…

Episodes start swirling in front of my eyes

Moments of love and moments so intense

As I remember those passionate goodbyes.

I use to be hurt

To see the bruises of love all over me…

But I knew you loved me …

The truth behind…I didn’t want to see it.

Come what may ...in life

Whatever be the depth of your love for me

The best is reserved for someone else

Your prized possession I can never be.

I know you love me...

I know you care

But in bits and pieces

When others are not there.

Those frantic phone calls

And kisses were stolen from time

Those sweet nothings whispered in ears

Wishing everything would be fine.

I know you love me deeply

Your eyes tell me so…

But one call from that special someone

And I know it is time for me to go.

That is what I am for you…

An outsider who has to stand and wait

I can never be your home

My place is outside…at the gate.

Love for me is everything

As I took you in my fold

Just to let you feel the warmth of my soul

Then why do you leave me standing in cold?

Yes I am an outsider

And it would always be the same

I know I am a loser in all respect

I bet myself in a defeated game.

So it would go like this

Distances will only get wider

Till then…I am at your gate

An outsider…forever outsider.