College Diaries

So it’s a matter of one month and probably we got no ideas about what comes next in our lives. literally, we are in an endgame now !! It’s really hard to believe that only one month is left and after that, we would all be in our separate ways. Well, I don’t know where to start and where to end. Trust me writing an essay is not easy. You have to sit patiently for hours and let all the thoughts and views rattle on your mind. Lastly, you have to channelize the thoughts and produce them in the form of writing with meticulously checking for errors (grammatical and spelling). Yeah !! it seems to be a heck of a job but if you are passionate about it you will seriously enjoy it although sometimes you would feel it to be quite tedious.

Now coming towards the memories of the four years. Well, I may not be deep with acute nostalgia here because I wouldn’t share each and every moment since the first year. I would summarize the experiences and thoughts of college life (it may not include the first year because I didn’t remember that much). First of all, being silicone is quite challenging. We felt like we were continuing our schooling at this place. We had two things constant for the four years0: attendance and assignments. Up to the third year, we had folder submission for which we had to give up our planning for the weekend in order to complete the folders of four different labs. During the fourth year, the folder submission was replaced by interim and seminar. Also, we were bracing ourselves for getting placed and for that we made the library our second home. I mean after class hours or even in the middle of class hours, we went to the library for preparation for the placement examinations. It’s seemed pretty hilarious as we never took that much load for but exams even there would be two days left for the examination. Placement preparation became a mundane task during those course of the period as it made us realize that somehow it’s our aim for choosing these stream and taking admission at this college at the first place and that is getting placed in a renowned company (when we were fresher our hopes and expectations were above the sky). As getting placed was in our minds many of us were engaged in preparation from dawn to dusk. So finally those who were diligent got placed and those students are truly dignified. 

Well, I am not placed yet due to certain issues like backlogs and a low GPA. At times I felt frustrated and many negative thoughts perceived on my mind and made me realize that I shouldn’t have taken these streams in the first place. If I would know before four years that I would be such desperate then I wouldn’t have chosen b.tech. There is a close friend of mine who consoled me that no one has the same potential and there are also exceptional in every field. Well, he is genuinely right. From his statement, I conceived regarding the fact that all the five fingers are not the same. Somehow the other I need to be optimistic for a better future instead of lamenting for something bad that happened in the past.

Now coming towards the classes. We were having such a hectic schedule of eight classes on five days and I used to yawn in the second period and drowse in the third period. Rarely I stay awake for the first five periods or else it becomes the job of my friend sitting near me to keep me awake maybe his techniques to keep me awake are unlikable (he prefer punches and pinches to do so). Due to all these, I hated going to college so keeping seventy-five percent attendance was really tough in that case. Preferring to memes on social media which insisted that having a crush on your class can help to keep attendance and eventually it worked out. But irrespective of the meme, I didn’t take that girl as a crush rather I took her as a good friend or you can say I was striving to be a good friend because till now I couldn’t able to interact with her. I understand I have been annoying at times but actually, circumstances made me like that. Here in these case also I choose to be optimistic as I feel the things have been better than were before and the conflicts are somehow resolved (though they are my expectations) but still now also I am not able to interact with her or you can say I feel shy to interact with her.

So now coming towards my friend circle. I am not that friendly and in a friend circle, I prefer a group of three. It’s not that I am being a misanthropist, actually, I am introverted and also be timid when it comes to getting along with people. But trust me deep inside I do care for everyone maybe I don’t know how to express it. I have encountered many malicious guys in these years who intend to just low me down and so their presence makes me feel uncomfortable. Maybe I get upset on petty issues or due to my vulnerability I don’t feel free to get along with everyone. Now I have tried to be less vulnerable and also tried to get along with some guys who were my friends in previous semesters but in the middle, I started avoiding them due to some conflicts. Maybe I got befriended with them after several conflicts but you know their nature still hasn’t been changed (they are still malicious and their presence makes me feel low). Apart from malicious, there are also pretentious ones whom I don’t want to get befriended with. You know the best part !! I have memories with each one of the type whether they are: close friends, casual, pretentious, or malicious ones. Because in the end, it doesn’t really matter. We are here to create memories and so there are no discriminations made among any kind of people in creating memories. Moreover, if you will see yourself some few years from now you would be nostalgic and start brimming by realizing that those days were the golden days.

I wish there could be a continuation of semesters as it really feels like normal days while going to college although the purpose of attending classes was never for memories. So as our session is coming to an end I would like to give some message to my mates reading this essay – it doesn’t really matter whether you are placed or not. If you are placed then it’s good (you have definitely outshined through your hard work). But if you are not placed then don’t get disheartened. You did your best and that’s what really matters. You can’t be a perfectionist every time, sometimes it’s just fine to be mediocre. And just be the kind of person you are and start accepting your flaws, vulnerability, weirdness, awkwardness, your’s everything- ultimately you will start to love yourself. So finally last but not least I am thankful to each and every college mates to teach me that life is a hard way to deal with and there is always a way out from the chaos that you are dealing with. I can proudly say that I have become a better person due to everyone. Lastly, I just hope that these four years of our beautiful friendship can give us forty years of togetherness.