Dead End

When she was at the peak of her career her life took a left turn and reached a dead end. Pitch dark with no ray of hope! Her 8 years of effort all seemed to be in vain and she shook grumpily to even stand out at the crowd again.

Suniti Rathod, an ace Rugby player representing the state of Bangalore was the whole and soul of her team, the central character of her team. But as every teenager goes through, she also did have another side of her life, her love life. Though she was very career oriented and didn’t want to mess up with her first love – Rugby, a boy wanted her madly. Not matured enough to accept her rejection he sternly dropped down her confidence. Today Suniti Rathod is known as an Acid Attack Survivor.

From flying like a bird on the Rugby field to staying encaged in her room, Suniti Rathod had lost the golden era of her game. That same Suniti Rathod who jumped in joy with the rugby ball holding tight to her chest had started hating herself. She started doubting her decisions. She experienced all ‘if’s and but’s’ thoughts arising in her head staying enclosed within that room for years. She started criticizing herself, she started making those judgmental thoughts her comfort zone. From a girl who found comfort in her scars and blood that flowed down during her Rugby game she turned into a girl who found comfort in judging her decisions withing the four walls of her room. She started hating herself for rejecting that boy, she started judging her love for others.

She stayed encaged in her rooms for 7 years hiding her face even from her parents, she stayed hungry for days together. That boy had not just thrown acid on her face, but also on the face of the Bangalore women’s Rugby team. She huddled in a corner of her room crying herself to sleep for she had lost her first love of her life. A girl who had never experienced breakup in relationships was loathing herself for she had a breakup with the first love of her life, with her self-confidence, with her joy, with her lifeline, with all the experiences she had, had while playing Rugby. He had cut her wings. Then merely 21, she gave up all hopes of facing the world again. She gave up on her love. She indeed reached a dead end from where she didn’t want to take a U-turn. It started becoming her comfort zone. She just held the Rugby ball tight to her chest, with tears rolling down her cheeks as she reminisced the fond memories she had made with her game. 

It was then that she understood the true face of the society. The state for which she had put her blood, sweat and occasional tear to put her team on a pedestal, the same members of her state who used to howl at her success and jump with her in joy had started demeaning her decision of living a career-oriented life. They started raising questions against her upbringing, they started mentally torturing her and her parents. Newspapers started haunting her for giving sports more importance. One news article that struck her hard read as, “You are a girl, you must know your limits and prioritize your marriage, Afterall marriage is the only event that holds importance in a girl’s life. If you wouldn’t have spoken against his wish then your face wouldn’t have got disfigured like this. Who had told you to choose jumping in the fields in shorts when he was asking your hand in marriage. If you would have agreed to his proposal today you would have been all dressed and sat in peace as the Daughter-in-Law of his house, you wouldn’t have to hide yourself like this.”

She felt it hard. She felt as if all her efforts, tears, sweat, blood everything went in vain. That was when she understood who are really her people. When that same society celebrated her success in joy she termed them as her dear ones, but that day she understood that society is a two-faced term, they are with you only in your success, not in your lows. That is when she started even hating her own relatives. She didn’t want anyone near her. She understood that her parents are the only ones who are going to stand by her in all her difficult times. She felt sorry for her parents for they had to listen so much from her relatives and society because of her actions. Indeed, it is such an irony…society jumped with her in joy at her success because they enjoyed watching her play in the field, but they didn’t dare to support her when she needed them the most.

She sat in her room closing all the curtains and making it dark and dim because she wanted to hide herself from the outside world, but little did she know that her team was awaiting her comeback. She would read all the news relating to rugby and pray all day that her team performed their best. So badly did she want to make her comeback but the flash of him throwing acid on her face haunted her time and again. With each passing day she turned into a defined solitudinarian. She started developing anthropophobia. 

Not until the new coach found out her story that she had come out of her cage. Mr. V. K. Sharan, the new coach of the Bangalore Women’s Rugby team went in search of Suniti Rathod. He had been the captain of the Bangalore men’s Rugby team and the central lead of his team for years together. But due to sports politics he couldn’t rise up till the national and international level. He gave up on his dream of been an International Rugby player and started a new journey by coaching students into the game.

Mr. V. K. Sharan visited Suniti’s house to try his luck in bringing her back. He sat down outside her room and conversed through that closed door just slipping in the air ticket scheduled for that evening. His words of motivation were very heart - warming. They were just the words she needed then to fight that battle. His words came in as a reverse gear to end all her thoughts of hatred in which she had found comfort for long 7 years. Those were the words that brought her out of her cage to roar like a tigress and to fly like an eagle, to jump across the whole field as if it were her own Palace. 

Mr. Sharan spoke in a low yet appeasing voice, “Use your scars as swords, they have the power to leave a confident trail just travel every step with temerity, roar loud to show the world your comeback. Show the world who a woman really is. Don’t even give it a thought when the entire world says you ‘cannot’, just believe in the ‘can’ and leave the ‘not’. Don’t join any clan or community waiting to drown you in the waves of pity remember you are born with the wings of fire to bear the menstrual and pregnancy pain use them to fly in your own palace - your Rugby ground. The entire male race will salute you, the man who threw acid on your dreams will adore you each day. The people who demeaned you for your decision of rejecting him will eat their words one day, the ones who ridiculed you as a mere female will bow down and put you on a pedestal. The tears that you shed all this while would drench the fire that burns under your feet. Go out boldly without your scarf show the world that talent doesn’t need a pretty face. Show that boy, he could only disfigure your face but not snatch your dreams. You must rise for yourself. You must realize your power. Outcry and lit up the dawn. Your wound’s will fade off, don’t worry. Your sorrow will end one day. You have the potential to come out and fly as a new born Dove born to rule the sky". Saying this he was not only giving hope to her, but was also giving hope to himself and his team, he was indeed fighting the society, fighting that boy. He slipped off the air ticket through the pass way made at the door and told her in awe that her team was waiting for her.

Little confidence did he have in his words as the clock struck 7.28 with just 2minutes to board the flight only to turn back and see her standing behind him with a full, new born confidence to rule the world. Thought she, “if he can commit a crime and roam around with his face uncovered, then why can’t I stand out at the crowd again when I haven’t done any crime, why must I hide like a criminal.” Before starting with the practice, she decided to get rid of all the burden she had collected for so many years. She went to meet the boy and told him that she would not allow him to win, she will not let him snatch her dreams. She unveiled her face and threw her scarf on him and truly it was the best revenge she could take. Not stopping at this she told him to see her play during the match, she was destined to teach him how love is won and maintained.

Stepping on to the field once again was an emotionally difficult task for her. That day was still fresh in her mind, tears rolled down as she walked towards her sporting ground. And just at the very sight of her, her teammates came running towards her and pounced at her in joy, for they had been badly missing her company on as well as off field. And with confidence their eyes sparkled as they told their coach, “This year we will surely lift the trophy to become the National Champions “, after all their best player was back again on the field with them. 

She practiced hard for 6 months as she had intended to prove the society and her relatives wrong, moreover she wanted to show that man what love truly means and wanted to get her parents rid of all that mental torturing. Slowly she was releasing her countless tears that she had shed, her comfort zone in which she had lived for the past 7 years.

Finally, the D-day arrived. She huddled down in a corner and just brought back that day in front of her eyes. But this time an unusual thing occurred, as always, she didn’t cry, instead she was seen more determined because she was poised to show the world what truly a woman can do. She sat there static and recalled the words of her coach and said to herself “I can fight and I must fight, not only that man but also the society and my very own relatives. I must be a role model for other woman going through acid attacks. I must show the world that an acid attack survivor is as normal as any other person and she still can achieve her dreams. I should show the male clan that they can’t end a woman’s life by just throwing acid on her face to disfigure it. I am truly born with wings of fire and I must provide shelter to other women suffering like me under those strong wings of mine. I am a woman born to support others. Only if I stand in support of myself, will the society know my worth. I must win this cup, not for myself but for my team who was longing to have me back, for my parents who were always in my support and for my coach who got in back onto this field.” With this she stood up, all ready to conquer her scars. Although she had played and won many matches before this, this match against Haryana was a special match for her, and she had to lift that cup under any circumstances. 

The loudspeakers called out the names of the players, the most awaited Rugby match to be played, both the team members stood there determined and equipped for the whistle of the referee. The signal was given, the whistle was blown and so did the players on hearing the sound began their fetch of the cup. Once again, the crowd was cheering for Suniti, because they were taken aback by her comeback, and there itself somewhere in the crowd sat that man watching her silently, but he didn’t have any sign of regret on his face.

Those 80 minutes were breath-taking. The 1st half was a setback for the Bangalore team, they were not in form. It also saw injuries caused to few players, among which Suniti’s name lead the rest. Though only a minor leg sprain it did have an impact on her game. Everyone had left hopes, but Suniti hadn’t. She looked at her parents sitting there in the crowd, she gave a look at both her coaches waiting for her real comeback and she remembered the words she told that boy. Yes! Once again, she was determined to show the world who Suniti Rathod is and just with this, she scored two back-to-back points. The crowd howled in joy, for they saw their Suniti once again in form. She forgot about her sprain; her aim was fixed…just that Cup! The initially performing poor Bangalore team was geared up in the second half of the match. Looked like their coach had given them some motivation of a higher dose. The second half primarily saw Suniti’s contribution, and the whole crowd was brought to the edge of their seats. Last 3 minutes of the match and the Bangalore team was running behind by 1 point, they needed at least 2 points to declare it a clear win. All eyes were on Suniti Rathod, chants were heard from the spectators supporting the Bangalore team, Mr. Sharan too was holding his breath, Suniti’s team members had also lost all hopes, they just prayed Suniti was in all form. But Suniti’s determination remained there unshattered. She had stepped on the field that day only to return with the Cup in her hand.

Those three minutes saw the career best performance of Suniti after a prolonged break. She scored 2 goals in 2minutes 35 seconds. And she was just aiming to keep the ball with her team for the last 25 seconds. That was the Suniti everyone knew. And then blew the whistle and the Bangalore spectators jumped in joy for the Bangalore team had lifted the Cup! 

Tears rolled down the eyes of Mr. Sharan and his team, for they were living a dream they had seen since so many years. That was a special match for Suniti, and it could not have been any nearer the mark. Suniti was once again in form. News reporters ran towards Suniti and encircled her with their tons of questions, and that was just the right time for Suniti to give it back to all those who had demeaned her.  She spoke with confidence pouring out of her eyes, slapping that doubled faced society with her words. Indeed, that day Suniti was born once again. Their team’s room was flooded with all kinds of emotions because everyone was living their dream that day. And that was when the team sat there and remembered that one saying that was at the tip of Mr. Venkat, their old coach’s tongue when they lost any match “Believe in your dreams and they come true, believe in yourself they will come true, because you need to pay for your dreams to come true, not in terms of money but in dedication, efforts and confidence” and there they saw Mr. Venkat walking down the aisle with watery eyes, moreover he was happy to watch Suniti on the field again.

As the team was celebrating Suniti excused herself and burst down into tears. She could visualize each day from the past 7 years of her life. Both the coaches sat down by the two sides of her, and her team brought her parents to her. All of them said in one voice, “We are proud of you”. That was the only sentence she needed at that time. Everyone washed their face and went onto the field. They were going to hold that cup for the first time. What a nostalgic moment it was!

They were greeted with a standing ovation as they walked down the aisle. Party poopers and flowers were been sprinkled on them from every corner of the stadium and the crowd lauded their names. And then they reached the middle of the stadium. As they caught the sight of the staff bringing the Cup towards the award presenters their heart started beating faster! Those 3 minutes they experienced all kinds of emotions. Anxiety, nervousness, excitement, joy everything was clearly seen on each one’s face. And just when the commentators called out their names as the winners of the National Championship and the Award presenters presented them with their cup, all the spectators howled in joy, for the Bangalore team had finally touched that Cup! There were tears of joy rolling down from each one’s eyes, from that minute they had got a new recognition to their name, ‘The National Champions of Rugby - Women’ That evening ended on a happy note! 

Just as that boy was leaving the stadium Suniti caught a glimpse of him. Why didn’t he come to meet her? Didn’t he regret his actions? If he didn’t want to ask forgiveness from her, why had he just come to see her play? Did he come there just to obey her invitation? Were his actions and means justified? Were the questions raised by the society on Suniti and her parents justified? Why can’t the society support a woman if she wants to live a career-oriented life? Can’t a woman choose the way she wants to live her life? Doesn’t a woman have the freedom to choose her life partner? Why does society look at an acid attack survivor as an abnormal being? Should society and that man be questioned instead of Suniti and her parents?

India is the leading country of Acid attacks, with at least one such case occurring each day, however, the country with the greatest number of acid attacks has the least number of conviction- less than 5%. It occurs due to the dominance of the Patriarchal system where the freedom of women is curtailed. There are many Suniti’s in India, but how many such cases are reported and worked on? They are not recognized and supported even if they are good in a particular field. Suniti’s story is a motivation for those girls who are victims of such anti-social acts and a hard slap to the society who think women are only meant to look after the household chores and remain confined in those four walls. Who has given us the right to judge people on their past? Who are we to question their decisions? Why can’t they just be accepted as a human being? Who is the culprit here – the society of the one who has committed this crime?