Harsher Than Harsher

Through the eyes of Rino, who has his own dictation about his own plates, which are stained, cracked, broken. As he could not realise it sooner, unless people turns his mind on, every day till today.

And the story in his voice....

"So there was a chapter on Dr. Baba Shaheb Ambedkar I used to read those days. And I could not make out why the tone and intensity of the same story fledged differently by two different teachers. One seems to be just another chapter for exam, other makes some marks on the story.

However, I grow up to today, not just like any other child grows and lives their dreams. Rajeeb was like me, of my age and height and weight, he grew up too.

He is not my friend, but someone I know as his father who earns by a wheelbarrow in our village. And my father used to show me, "see how harsh his life is!"

Rajeeb would end up in same wheelbarrow. But I can't afford that. I was smart enough to top my class since childhood. But except my parents, rest thought I won't go farther, and will end up as a teacher in some village.

Teachers, I don't know why, some of them hate me for even topping the rest, and few were proud as I belong to them. Every year the day result had been out, I was named best student and headmaster's speech be like, "why can't you general people beat this tribal boy, shame on you?"

And I used to feel proud. "Wow, tribal boy", perhaps I don't know what it is at all about.

Childish as I was a thin lean shortest guy alone on the first bench, many seniors and colleagues peep on me, that how I can memorize anything and how I can solve any math.

Not a big mystery, except I was a tribal boy, whose father is the first graduate, first headmaster, first educated who knows english particularly in our 30 family-community. And my grandfather still lives with a khachcha and in jungle without any electricity or network or road to walk. When we visit them twice in a year, it seems better than an adventure through jungles.

"Adivasi" they say often.

After I topped in board exam, I was praised as a category child, I still thought it's time to be proud. No guy from our community, could even imagine, how I cracked PMT(medical topper), AIEEE (engineering topper), SBJE (board topper), never even a general guy in the state could do it before.. in a single year.

People even laughed that I was blessed or, just a lucky guy. Friends, I could have one or two, even I can see how he feels about my academic results, "even I can do better than him."

So when I went into the college of my father's dream profession, medical college, I was introduced as a "category" student who just got by chance.

Still I was feeling proud, from a farthest village of one state, admitted as a 1st ranked student in regional best medical college, such a dream cum true for my dad.

After semesters, I used to held my ranks in toppers and had a lot of trouble, because it was full of self-declared competitors. They don't want to lose to a category guy.

Anyhow, they are so hard working and focused, that I had lot of troubles to get mingle with.

I could not find out why, only could have thought, "may be not same stars".

There is always ego comes in between us, and I was like, "wow I topped again".

Finally during PG preparation, I came to realise, what the game had started by Dr. Baba Shaheb, he wanted a better India with equality and equity. But it turns out to be a killer of social norms and murderer of racism and discrimination.

I faced a lot success when I was innocent.

Now I face a lot of tone, back bitching, separate groupie, jealousy by even teachers.

Two teachers from General category in our college had some social issues with me, both used to torture me for no reason. I can notice obvious when it is someone, they react differently. And they finds reasons to mentally torture. One even slapped me for no reason once. Not mentioning about ragging, because ragging has equal effect on everyone irrespective of anyone. But here I am the special soft target. Other may notice too, but say nothing.

I am still the same gold medalist, who earned it by his own terms.

They even tried to exclude me from any greater cause.

Example, I got selected for regional level quiz, after quiz master tried his best that to sure, I won't win. He openly announced, "if anyone wants to replace this guy, you can go to regional level, even if your scores are less."

Is it even possible?

Now they say, "you got graduation by luck, you got post graduation, by reservation, if you can stop begging or stealing anything from those who deserves more, who are talented than you, who works harder."

Yes, I grow up.

And I know, "no extra ATP for extra shit"

I must take up super speciality course, and prove everyone that, Gold is Gold, it never stains like iron, nor breaks like plastic, nor cracks like wood."

So that people could have say something better than luck and reservation..

My mom called and ask.. "so how's the life";

"Harsher than harsher," and I say every day."