It's Her Fault

Paddu is a calm child and had always been quite attentive of her surroundings. She’s just a 7yr old when she visited her grandparents (father’s parents) house, and she is having a gala time. There’s a gooseberry tree that has it’s branches fanned from a neighboring house and though Paddu wasn’t into gooseberries; she liked to collect them. While doing so, the teenage boy from the neighboring house saw Paddu with a mischievous look on his face. He offered to give Paddu more berries if she comes into their house and Paddu was elated at the chance of plucking them off the tree. She pleaded her mother to let her go and hopped happily when her grandparents overlooked the worries of her mother. They said that Paddu’s mother was being unreasonable and overly protective. “These new era girls are educated but god, are they silly. Don’t they know how we grew up running around in the fields and not caring about anything.” These were things that Paddu’s mother would have to listen to, often but couldn’t conflict the in-law’s decisions for the fear of being reprimanded.

Paddu who is now in the neighbor’s house was eager to go to the backyard and play under the gooseberry tree. But there’s was something sinister waiting to gulp Paddu’s innocence and her entire world as she knew it. That boy who she was calling “bhayya” said that he had something to do in his room which made Paddu whine a bit but she was shy and didn’t want to be pushy. She timidly sat at the edge of his bed while that boy opened his shirt as if he didn’t care if Paddu was in the same room. He just got up on the bed to reach something from the cupboard above the bed and Paddu just turned her head the other way to avoid looking at him. After a minute, the boy laid on the bed next to Paddu. She looked up and saw bhayya doing nothing but scratching his private parts. Paddu felt weird about it because even though she is just a kid she still knew this was icky.

This is the kind of situations when the existence of God is seriously under scrutiny. Any mother, whether educated or not would never imagine that she would have to give a talk to her daughter about the dangers like that of which Paddu may stumble upon now. Paddu was a 7yr old and she is supposed to play with imaginary ponies or just have the best time of her life. Yet, she was here in a tiny room with a sweaty half-naked teenage boy, unsure about what lay ahead of her. No amount of motherly advice against stranger danger could have prepared her for this because this was a boy next door who she treats like an elder brother. She doesn’t understand the meaning of a sly look nor she is capable to read the advances being made on her.

She finally had enough and spoke up “bhayya, can you please take me to the tree because mother will call me home in a few minutes and I want to play as much as possible”. This made the boy realize that he didn’t have much time left and he came closer to Paddu. Took her tiny hand in his and said “let’s play another game but you have to keep it a secret or else I will not give you any goose berries”. Paddu nodded her head eagerly in a gesture that said, 'I would play any game' and this is all the start he needed. He started to tickle Paddu first near her palms then traced his fingers upwards towards her elbows and then he was inching closer to her shoulders. Paddu was squirming like a wiggly worm thinking that it was all part of the game and then suddenly she realized that his hands were not stopping. He is tracing her all over her body and this includes her private parts too.

She started to feel uncomfortable and that boy noticed it immediately. So, he changed tactics and said “Paddu now it’s my turn and you will have to tickle me”. This was an unexpected turn of events because Paddu was a child and bhayya was the adult. But she obliged and start to trace her fingers on his hand when he stopped her. He guided her hand towards his abdomen and then started to have her trace lower and lower. Paddu couldn’t comprehend what kind of a game this was because bhayya wasn’t laughing and was making a kind of a face that she never saw before. She was stunned and her face started to become pale when suddenly there was a knock on the door.

The boy quickly regained his composure and told Paddu “remember our secret and you can’t tell anyone about this”. Thankfully, It was Paddu’s mother looking for her as it was a while now. One look and she immediately saw how Paddu’s face was lifeless. She would have questioned more but the boy immediately covered up by saying “Paddu saw a cockroach and got scared”. The poor mother didn’t doubt anything else and left the room without any further delay. Paddu internally sighed with relief as she swiped her sweaty palms on her pretty frock. She didn't know what just happened to her and with her. She wanted to scream and yell on top her lungs but the struggle seemed only internal.

Whether Paddu's mother believed the boy’s story or not, but she just saved her little Paddu from a horrible situation. Yes, this is a traumatic situation for Paddu. Nothing can even come close to this.

She can never ever be the same innocent child but on the other hand there’s that bhayya. What will he grow up to be if he is capable of being a pedophile at such a young age? Who is to blame for this situation? The grandparents who sent Paddu alone? The mother for not being strong enough to supervise her child? Or the parents of this dangerous boy for not making him aware of the difference between good and bad?

Irrespective of whose fault this is, the one being punished is Paddu. She can’t discuss this disgusting thing with anyone because she realized that just like her mother she will reprimanded too. She might be told it’s her fault for going into the boy’s room. It’s her fault that the boy did such a thing to her. It’s her fault for being born as a girl. It’s her fault. It's her fault. It's her fault. It’s Paddu’s fault.