Its Alright

Why are space bar so big compared to the others.

The extra in size, extra clack sound when you tap, sometimes few brands choose to colour it exclusively.

Same applies for enter, control and shift keys. Sometimes for backspace keys too. What have they done to deserve all this focus? Just because they get a few extra taps from us? Is that all why?

Kudos to man for bringing injustice and inequality in keyboards too.

Reaching out to my mobile phone subconsciously, I pick it up. Followed by the most regular routine of the day. Typing in password followed by a tap on app drawer followed by a tap on BBM followed by another password again.

This time there was a number 4 inside a red circle against his name.

Tapping on his name I opened the window with a lengthy chat history. Scanned for the 4 unread messages, which were right after my replies.

“Baby I know you are not having a greatest of days.

It’s alright!

You have imagined far worse about small things.

Just rewind about the school bag!!

It’s alright!”

This brought smile on my face. I can’t figure out why. Don’t know why but he always brings up the “bag”. Even though it’s sweet he is just taking it for granted. I guess I mustn’t have told him at all.

Can’t figure out what exactly know what exactly to reply to him, but I have to.

I started typing “Okay”.

Can’t think of anything more. Should I say something else too? Or will I appear rude to him?

Something is better than nothing. So “okay” is good enough.

Tapping on the send button. I noticed he was last seen a good 57 mins ago.

So I hope there won’t be an instant reply.

Pressing the lock button I keep my phone aside.

Looking back at the monitor screen, I bring my concentration back to work after a long gap.

Why doesn’t this tally?

God! Save me from this obnoxious monotonous pesky unforgiving tally issues. I really badly need saving.

Maybe I need to take a break.

Shall I meet my friends, the Malayali sisters and ask for a game of carom or maybe scavenge the web for gossips or maybe look at expensive Ambani wedding pictures.

Everything is just so. So. Not right.

Before my hands reach out to pick up my mobile phone again. I realise it’s not even a minute since I replied. He definitely wouldn’t have replied. So I didn’t.

When I think of what he had said – the school bag incident, he may have a point for me to consider about. When I think of it, the memories of school days are flooding in.

My maroon cycle, the little green door of our old house, the mustard yellow & white school uniform, my school building, the big school gate, the school bell, the journey to school, my school friends, the lunch times, the girl gossips in the rest rooms, the fights which changed my personal life, the bus ride in the school trips. I guess this is all part of me now.

However that day in particular I remember it very vividly.

My school bell rings at 8:30 am and my deadline to reach was 8:00 am. So by 7:40 I would have started from home. 20 mins for a 2 km cycling. I never try to compromise on my schedule. But that day in particular while taking my cycle out of the green door, I glanced at the black strapped sonata watch on my left wrist. It read 7:49. It was panic mode in full swing for just 9 mins delay.

My house was the second last building in the street. I had to take left on to the high road. Even in the panic, I enjoyed the ride. I peddled a bit faster than my usual. Cycling is always one of the best part of my day. Mom always warned me to be careful on high roads. Even though a few bikes or an occasional car would fly by. Busses, autos, rickshaws and cycles dominated the traffic. I always somehow managed around them because like me many cycled to school, so I always had a lot of cycling company.

The little hotels which sold tiffin and meals which I always happened to cross by in high road always smelled of sambhar in the mornings. It did caught my attention again. The same old resolution again, I will definitely taste that sambhar once.

Now to the worst part of my journey to school, I had to take a right on to the street which led to the parallel road - Agraham road where my school was situated. But I had to and I did. Unsurprisingly there were again a few shouts for the haphazard cutting of the traffic but this time round I had company of fellow cyclers. So I guess it was not that bad compared to other embarrassing days.

Even though there were many streets which linked both the roads, I always chose Balu Street because I could get a glance at the yellow painted house with the big black gate. It snapped me to a a cherishing memory about my best friend from 5th standard, who used to live there but she moved to another area & another school. Still I wish when could I get to meet her again.

Final left turn to the Agraham Road. Immediately I pulled a hard screeching brake. A stray dog!!

With a lot of effort I opened my eyes which I had forced shut. Thank goodness nothing harmful occurred I guess I was close to running over its leg. The screeching noise had shooed the dog away with a squeal. Which was a huge relief in itself. A huge breath, trying to come out of the shock I rolled my head around, hoping I haven’t caught unwanted attention. And I hadn’t except a few gaze. Another sigh of relief.

Hoping to restart my journey, I try to put my left feet on to the cycle peddle.

I wasn’t able to like I would generally, for it was heavy and covered in mud. Thanks to balancing act to avoid falling on the ground, after the brake I had stood on the puddle.

Wow what a day I felt like shouting. But nothing would be the outcome. Even though my white socks had turned brown with stains, I will have to clean my shoes at the least. I don’t want to get pulled out of the line and embarrassed by PT miss after general assembly. Immediately, I tried reaching for my hankie but why would I want to spoil it? So I didn’t. After thinking for a while, decided on wiping it off with a piece of paper and my school bag had it in abundance. Especially those back pages of all the note books which I had scribbled and doodled has finally found some good use. The very next instant I turned back to the pillion seat to reach for my bag and to my shock.

It wasn’t there.

How can it be?

Did it fall because of brake?

Immediately I resorted to surveying the nearby. But in vain!

Could I have lost it along the way?

Did I not feel any weight difference while cycling?

Might be at the intersection where I haphazardly turning in to Bala Street I could have dropped it there? But if I did people would have brought it to my notice. No one would let a school bag be in the middle of the road.

But again some were shouting and I did ignore. Might be the angry travellers whom I abruptly cut through would have thrown it away in frustration.

Should I turn back and go to the intersection? It will take a good 7-8 mins and now it is 8:04 on the clock, I could end up being late and closed out of school.

How can I be so reckless? How did this occur? This is really not happening. I could feel my eyes are getting heavy, just a little push I would burst out with tears. Now its official and I have to accept the fact. I have lost my school bag!!

Suddenly a plethora of negative feelings invaded me. Lost, embarrassment, humiliation, most important of all completely blank about what to do.

Looking around the hotels, shops, people, bikers, cars, cyclists, bus, beggars, vegetable vendors, school going kids, their parents. All of a sudden the world seems to be too big and myself so small.

A yellow display board painted with “PCO, STD, ISD, FAX” was being fixed on the sidewalk by the shop keeper.

Guess my reserve subconscious kicked in and the thought of immediately calling my mom popped up. She always gave me 3 rupees daily for my snacks of which 2 rupees would be spent on a samosa during break and the other 1 was for savings.

Wait! the savings were all in my school bag too. I lost my saving worth 73 rupees as well. I almost felt like crying out loud.

Pulling myself, I cycled towards the PCO store. Wiped the extra mud in the pavement stones and then pulled the stand to park my cycle. I could notice then that my hands were shivering a bit. Now I walked towards the 1 rupee local call telephone which was hanged on the side wall of the shop. I reached for change in right skirt pocket and thankfully found 3 coins.

I dropped on rupee coin in and dialed in the landline number of my home.

After couple of rings I heard.

“Hello”.

I recognised it was my aunt.

“Aunty, could you please pass the phone to my mom.”

A response followed after realizing it was me

“Your mom just left with the school bag in auto, Go to school and wait. She said she will go there directly”

“How can you be so careless? That you forgot your school bag?

I just wanted to know, what we’re you going to achieve by rushing to your school without your school bag.

If you were my kid, I would have slapped the hell out of you. Your mom what all she has to go through”

I could feel my eyes getting heavier with every statement she is making. Before I would reach my threshold, with great difficulty I finally uttered.

“I better hurry to school then, if my mom doesn’t finds me there she would panic more.

Bye!!”

I hung up the phone right after the word bye. Didn’t even wait for acknowledgement.

Got onto the cycle as immediate as I could and peddled as fast as I could.

This is fastest I have ever cycled. There was a sense of satisfaction but at the same time fear shrouded everything else.

What if mom shouts in front of everyone? What if she comes late and school gate is closed? What if my friends know about this debacle? I would be laughed at for a long time.

I suddenly realize that I could see my school and immediately had a quick glance at my watch and it was around 8:20.

I looked down at the front basket which is attached to my ladybird cycle.

A Brown lunch bag with the purple water bottle tucked on the side.

“Seriously how can I be so stupid?” I half-heartedly shouted.

The big mustard coloured gates were open with students rushing inside, few autos parking a few leaving from near the gates and the same with parents in their two wheelers. It was an organized chaos as expected during the eleventh hour.

Taking a left and got inside the school then a right and onto the crowded cycle stand, my usual parking spot was already occupied and I parked it at the end of the stand.

With the lunch bag in hand I run towards the gate, hoping and praying I don’t run into my friends or classmates or my teachers meanwhile.

Taking huge breaths I am standing next to the gate on the right waiting and looking at every passing autos. Suddenly the bell rings as expected. Never have I felt the ring so loud maybe except during exams. Looking at my watch I saw the big of the two tiny hands in the watch over the Roman numeral “V”. 5 more mins left as the first warning bell has just rung.

I actually could still feel the bell sound lingering in my ears. I guess this is what palpitations means, a feeling I am having now, pounding sensation of each heartbeat.

With every second I am feeling the time fading away.

I would definitely checked more than 50 autos. But where is my mom? Out of nowhere someone tapped on my shoulder, I turned to see English class miss standing.

“What happened? I called you out couple of times. What are you doing here?”

She continued on questioning

“You know first period is mine right, get inside!! I won’t allow you if you are even a second late.”

With great hesitation I replied

“Yes miss, one minute!”

“You don’t even have a minute, bell is about to ring. Get inside!” she said and walked off.

I don’t know what she is going to do to me, I already have such a good reputation in her class next time definitely she would call my parents.

Looking at my watch again and there wasn’t even a minute left and the bell could ring any moment.

I guess I have to wait outside as late comers.

Out of nowhere my mom appeared as I turned towards the road again.

She stood with an outstretched arms handing me the school bag.

I guess this is what the word relief exactly means!

I took the bag from her.

Before I could say anything she said

“Go. It’s already late!!”

I ran with my bag crossing the gates and the bell rang again with all its might. This time the sound of the bell wasn’t a torture like 5 mins ago.

Turning back, I saw

Watchman pulling the gates to close it.

Mom was standing and waving at me with a blank look. I don’t know what to interpret of that.

I waved back to her with a smile, happily and immensely relieved.

Back home that night before sleeping

I turned towards my mom who was sleeping next to me.

I gradually started saying

“Mom today morning..”

Before I could complete it she replied

“It’s alright”

For a long time I couldn’t figure out why was it alright even though I committed a grave sin. But as I grew up I realised even though I caused difficulties for my mom, it was a trivial incident.

He is right though, just because my boss isn’t happy doesn’t means everything is doom and gloom, it’s alright!! I believe the same applies for the keyboard injustice too. It’s alright for keys to come in different sizes.

But certainly this day dreaming, keyboards and school bags is definitely not alright.Shrugging off my thoughts I dive right back into the world of number crunching.