Love As I Understand

                                 Love As I Understand

   "LOVE" a simple looking word consisting of two vowels and  two consonants, is so complicated depicting innumerable and varieties of relationships. But the love I am talking about is the relationship developed between two persons of opposite genders, out of emotion and attraction which is unique and that is romantic Love in other words Sex.

   Let me start by quoting a story from Mahabharat which I had heard long back. The correctness of the story, I am not sure, as I had only heard it with no documentary evidence. Also, my interest was only in the story and not in its authenticity.

The story goes like this.

"Pandavas after losing their kingdom in gambling to Kauravas move to forest for Vanavasa. They were amidst deep forest hardly finding anything to eat. One day they were very hungry and all the brothers leaving Yudhister and Draupadi go in different directions in search of food. After a long search, Nakula one of the Pancha Paandavas finds a single fruit in one of the trees. Thinking that fruit would keep their hunger in control for some time, plucks it from the tree. As he plucks, a pronouncement comes from an invisible voice

"Paandavas, please note: This tree yields only one fruit in a year and the saint living in this forest eats only this and lives in penance for the whole year. If he doesn't find the fruit in its place you will be cursed and you will be in big trouble. So, put back the fruit in its original place before he comes here. Also, please note that he doesn't eat if the fruit is on the ground or plucked one given by somebody. Do something that makes the fruit in its place immediately before the Saint arrives."

Hearing that shocking announcement, all the brothers and wife Draupadi will be in deep sorrow. Finding no solutions, they all pray lord Krishna to appear and suggest solution to come out of the critical situation. Lord Krishna known to be Paandava Priya appears instantly and hears to their problem pretending to be unaware of it. He takes all of them to the tree and ask all the five to confess the sins they have committed in their life. As they start one after another starting from the youngest Sahadeva, the fruit starts moving upwards towards its origin. As the eldest Yudhishthira confesses the fruit almost reaches its place with a small gap. Everyone including Lord Krishna start worrying and were unable to understand the reason for the gap despite the true confessions from all the five brothers. The only person left was Draupadi who was extolled as one of the pancha kanyas with no sin whatsoever. Lord Krishna the master of all mystics hesitatingly asks Draupadi to confess if at all she had committed anything. She will be very embarrassed but goes back to her memory to look for a mistake turned sin. After a while an event comes to her mind in which a wish arose of marrying Karna also. She realises that her desire to marry Karna after her marriage with Pandavas was a grave Sin which should not have arisen. She confesses in all humility and immediately the fruit jumps up and sticks to its branch. By that time the saint arrives there and gets excited to see Pandavas with Lord Krishna. He with his divya dristi (Divine power) understands the whole episode. He plucks the fruit and gives it to Pandavas and wishes them for smooth sail of their exile. 

  My purpose of quoting this story is not to discuss whether things had happened, or a story nicely written by Maharshi Vyas. Accepting this as a fact, my question would be, the desire to marry Karna by Draupadi which I call it as "Swipe of love" was really a sin? The answer could be both Yes and No.

Why Yes?

My answer would be we live in a society bound by certain social norms and moral codes of conduct. Specifically, in those days of conservative and male dominated society the marriage was considered as highly sacred and husband is God to the wife. So, woman once married must be pathivratha and even thinking about other person in terms love/sex would be a great sin.

Why No?

Draupadi had married five husbands and I do not want to go into the details how the marriage took place and her eligibility for five husbands etc. I would only say polygamy was an accepted practice in certain sects and society. She, in normal terms was human being and belonging to the society of polygamy. So, the swipe of love towards Karna and the desire to marry him was a natural drive. So, in my opinion it cannot be taken as sin but a basic instinct.

It is not right on my part to continue further in this matter as my knowledge of Mahabharat which we believe as our sacred epic is almost nothing. Hence, I digress from Mahabharat and come to the contemporary concepts of Romantic Love/Sex.

The Romantic Love (RL) for adult male and female is nothing but an act of pleasure. There is nothing wrong in that as Sex is a tool for procreation besides an act of pleasure. What I want to say, Sex is neither sacred nor sinful. As Sri Sadguru says "Sex is a simple biological need turned for many into a lifelong obsession". Further he says "The biggest problem is that religious and moral teachers have told us that our biology is a Sin. This has created untold guilt and misery down the ages. The more you deny something it assumes disproportionate importance in the mind. This suppression mode has wrought untold havoc on the human psyche".

Unquote:

 I also say, It is the burning desire of life and love livens life. So, attracting and getting attracted towards other gender is a natural process for normal human being. Here, the story from our epic comes to my mind. Vishwamitra a great saint of unparallel spiritual power also fell in love with Menaka and turned father of Shakuntala. If this is true, a normal man falling prey to RL is no big affair.

There is one more interesting story from Mahabharat.

"Urvashi, the apsara the divine beauty, gets attracted to the personality and looks of Arjun. She goes begging to him to satisfy her desires of love. When he does not entertain her request, she rages with anger and goes to the extent of cursing him to become a eunuch. This shows how strong is the desire of RL and the outcome if not fulfilled.

In earlier days, why? Even now many couples are living together suppressing their desire for RL due to social obligations. I have heard and seen, specially ladies who are not married, young widows who lost their spouses at the early age etc. craving for sexual desires, suffered mental disorders. This is no exaggeration.

Of late, there are many legal separations relating to sexual problems. Also, as a welcome change widow marriage is being encouraged.

Finally, what I want to say is, let us not make romantic Love a holy cow and attach unwanted corollaries. If two individuals develop relationship and it turns to romantic love (whatsoever may be the reason) that can be a natural process and need not be branded as Sin. That does not mean people can have immoral relationships breaking moral code of conduct of society where we live.

Here the beautiful words of Sri Sadguru come to my mind

Quote:

"Our basic biology is not to be trashed. But it does not need to be glorified either. If you observe your development from childhood to adolescence, it should intrigue you, not rule you. A natural intelligence makes us all aware that we are more than the play of our hormones. Unlike animals, human beings are not at the mercy of their chemistry. The human need for emotional and intellectual companionship is far stronger than the physical need. Unfortunately, those who allow the hormonal process to dominate their intelligence lose their inner equilibrium".  

Unquote.

If this inner equilibrium is lost this love may turn to immoral relationships.

In conclusion, I quote the well said words of Sri.Sadguru

Quote

"All we need to cultivate is certain inner equanimity in body and mind, so sexuality naturally finds its place. It is important to acknowledge the sexual impulse, but also conduct it responsibly.

Some simple Yoga can be hugely beneficial if one starts practising it young, because it harmonises the body and mind more effectively than any teaching can" 

 Reference: An article by SADGURU "Sex: Sacred or Sinful" published in Bangalore Times of "The Times of India" dtd.10th Sept 2018