The Friday Jam

The laptop time changed from 3:41 am to 3:43 am.

 

Type. Backspace. Repeat. 

I wasn't sure what it is that I want to write about – my third break up, my second hope, my insecurities, lost friends, one-time proposal, multiple rejections, deleted chapters, minor sexual abuses, major anxiety issues – sorry I can't share more on social media. 

The laptop time changed from 3:43 am to 3:57 am. 

My head is aching, the back pain is real and the legs? Sweaty and smelly. 

Exhale. Sigh. Breathe out. 

I took my phone and randomly sad reacted to life issues posted by anonymous women in a Facebook group. 

I wonder what brought these ladies to write on social media about their problems – are they Lonely? Helpless? Will they survive?

Oh! The time says 4:16 am. 

I moved on to Instagram and guess what the reels said? 

Doechii, Why don't you introduce yourself to the class? 

Even if the sky is falling down. 

Polls for the group chat. 

I could be red or I could be yellow. 

How did I go from this to this? 

I texted my husband the Bruno Mars lyrics. 

Then, it was 4:33 am. 

The melodies and crescendos of the distant birds made me realize that I will start another day – sleep deprived, irritated and with lots of to-dos. 

Closed windows, humidity, tangled wires and heap of clothes made the room suffocating. 

Hunger pangs, stinky t-shirt, dehydrated lips and oily face – everything complemented my mental state – rancid, remorseful and ruptured.

4:48 

Things I did last week include- Reading a book, Changed the room, Tried random dance moves, Slept in the name of writing, Called my best friend, Brainstormed ideas in bullet points, Denied that I am having Writer's block – but nothing helped. 

So I turned to the last and seemingly stupid point in a blog on how to overcome this block - Write Anything.

Let it out. 

Hence, this post.