The Voice: A Journey Towards Identity

Humans play countless roles in the journey of their life. Be it a child, a student, a parent, a grandparent, and many other characters. Sometimes they need to play multiple roles at a single time. Everyone tries to be flawless in each role they play. In the relentless effort of becoming a perfectionist, Humans lose their own identities. The story depicts the life of two such woman who have lost their identities in the race of their life.

The first one is Kusum, a housewife of a well to do family of nearly Fourty years. She lives at her In-laws’ house with her husband Murari, who is a businessman, her son Parag, a school going boy of age twelve, her mother-in-law Radha and her father-in-law Madan. She does all the household chores starting from cleaning the house to taking care of in-laws. She loves working for her family.

The second one is Kamla, a poor woman of age Thirty who lives with her drunkard husband Suresh, who works as a barber, and her daughter Rani of age seven, who is admitted to a school. She works as a maid in houses to support her husband financially. Her husband wastes lots of the family income to quench his thirst for alcohol, without ever thinking about the family, which is a great cause of worry for Kamla. Kamla wants to make her daughter a well-educated and good person unlike her parents, for which she works day and night. Kamla does all her household works apart from working in other’s house.

Suresh is an ardent follower of patriarchy. Kamla had a dream to become a singer as she was trained in music during her school days, where a music teacher provided free training to selected children from poor families. But after marriage, she couldn’t pursue singing because of Suresh’s mindset, that woman who make singing as their career become discourteous and impertinent. These women are considered to be uncivilized and ill-mannered in the society. To ensure that Kamla completely drops music, Suresh put a ban on Kamla’s singing in their house too. Kamla was also subjected to domestic violence if Suresh found her singing. Though Kamla, not being able to control her passion for music, hummed softly while doing the chores in other’s houses but completely stopped it when she returned back to her own house in fear of getting beaten by her husband.

An insight to Kamla’s family

The story heads to its plot with a fine morning taking us to a small single-storeyed, asbestos roof house with a weak bamboo gate infront of which, there is a board hanged written the name, SURESH in bold letters. Suresh had already left for his small salon even without having breakfast because it was Wednesday, a day which saw a lot of people longing to shorten their black keratinized outgrowth forming crown above the head. Rani had also left for her school. Kamla had already completed her daily work of two houses and returned back home to complete her own household chores. While doing the same, she realized that her house was devoid of anyone apart from her. So, she started humming softly. She was so lost in her world of humming and doing chores that she completely forgot her surrounding and all the restrictions put on her in her house. Suddenly the THUD... sound of the opening gate made her come back to her senses. It was Suresh who had come back home to have his breakfast, as soon as the business in his small salon slacked a bit.

Coming back home and listening to humming of Kamla, he smoldered with anger. He went near Kamla and slapped her. Kamla was terrified and tear drops started rolling down her cheeks. But today, she gained some courage and told, ‘Suresh, I will not bear your torture every day. I work restlessly to aid you financially. You always spend money mindlessly in drinking. After doing so much work, can’t I even get some peace of mind by fulfilling my hobby?’ Suresh glared at Kamla for raising her voice and exclaimed, ‘Your singing has made you shameless. You talk with raised voice to your husband! I never asked you to earn. Your earnings are just futile. I will be happy if you stay at home and help me with my works.’ Kamla told, ‘And what about Rani’s school fees. Can you single handedly manage it?’ ‘I never desired to send Rani to the school. It was you who sent her forcefully by seeing those posters of educating girl child, which are meaningless. A girl should learn doing household chores only and help the male members of their family with their works.’, said Suresh. Kamla was broken, listening to the primitive thoughts of her husband. Suresh continued, ‘And as for you continuing your hobby, let me remind you that this is my house and only my rules would be followed. See the nameplate infront of house, it has my name written in block letters. So, you will do work as per my command only.’ He warned Kamla, ‘If I hear you singing, either in a loud or low voice, again, I will throw you out of my house.’ Suresh dragged Kamla to the gate to show her, his name written on the nameplate. After this, Suresh, left for his salon with fury on his face.

Listening to such harsh words of her husband, Kamla was shattered. She went inside the house crying out loud. The words told by Suresh pierced her heart severely. After some time, she stopped weeping, made herself strong and went to the market to buy vegetables for her house. While walking on the road, the words of Suresh surfaced in her mind continuously. Many questions arose in her mind, ‘Who am I? Am I Kamla or just Suresh’s wife? Do I have my own identity?’

Kamla’s days passed as if being an animal who had to follow all orders of her ringmaster Suresh. That day Rani came with a letter from school which she read out loud infront of her mother. She read, ‘Dear Parents, kindly pay the dues as soon as possible or else legal actions of sacking your daughter from school may be taken.’ She translated the words for her mother. Kamla broke down knowing the content of the letter, but Suresh was very happy. Suresh denied paying dues of Rani’s school knowingly so that Rani could be dismissed from school, and she would help her father in his work. Kamla couldn’t think of a way to save her daughter’s education. The next day, she tried asking for advance payments in the house in which she worked as maid but none of them lend her money. She lost all hopes and sat under a peepal tree infront of a temple.

An insight into Kusum’s family.

As the morning sun started rising over the horizon, the main door opened and the sweet voice of morning prayer filled the surrounding with a soothing aura. It was Kusum, who had started her work of the day with a pleasant morning prayer. Kusum is generally the earliest to rise up in the family. After completing the morning prayer, she heads towards the room of Parag to wake him up for the school. She shakes Parag and tells him, ‘Wake up quick or you will be late for school. It is already morning 7 o’clock.’ Parag grunted and told, ‘Maa, why you disturb my sleep always? You love waking up early, but I don’t. Now please let me sleep some more time.’ Telling this he turned himself and grabbed the pillow tightly so that he could have some more sleep. Kusum forcefully removed the bedsheet covering Parag and told in his ears, ‘Ok, don’t wake up. Sleep for more time and don’t go to school today. But I thought you would go to school because today is your project day. But I won’t force you to go.’ Parag immediately recalled that he had to display his project with his group members on that day and woke up at once. Kusum asked him to get ready for the school at earliest. In the meantime, she pressed Parag’s school uniform, polished his shoes and packed his bag according to the time table. After this she rushed to the kitchen to make the breakfast as early as possible. She packed Tiffin boxes for Parag and Murari. Everyone arrived at the dining table at 7:45 am to have the breakfast. Parag exclaimed, ‘Maa, you made Roti and fry, today again? You made the same thing yesterday also.’ Kusum said, ‘Adjust today, I will make something yummy tomorrow.’ Radha said, ‘You get much time in morning, so why don’t you make something delicious for us. We also don’t like eating the same thing daily.’

Kusum said, ‘Sorry Maaji, I will ensure that I don’t cook the same food every time.’ After, all had their breakfast, Kusum gulped one roti with some bhaji at once and got ready to drop Parag at school. Murari was very busy with his work, so Kusum had to drop her son at school. She boarded two rickshaws and a bus and finally reached school along with Parag. She bade a goodbye to Parag and wished him luck for his projects before returning to the house.

Once she came back to the house, it was already 9 o’clock. She went to room of her in-laws to give them the medicines which they took daily at the same time. Kusum had already remembered all the medicines of her in-laws with timings because she gives them the same, daily. Although she cleans the house before the morning prayer everyday but today, she was a bit late to wake up because she had helped Parag to complete his project work till late night, the last night. She cleaned up the house along with dusting with help of a broom and mop. This work was really tiresome. Cleaning of the house completed by 10 o’clock. After that she went to Radha’s room to ask her suggestions for making the lunch. Radha said, ‘My son hasn’t eaten anything tasty since ages. Make something tasty today.’ She continued, ‘Wait, I have an idea. We are four members in the family, me, your father-in-law, Murari and Parag. So, make one favorite dish of each member. There will be four dishes apart from rice and dal.’ Kusum said, ‘Maaji, Five dishes, no? I am also a member of the family.’ Radha laughed and said, ‘Who denied? You are the main member of our family, but you are the cook yourself. A cook should make the dish which others like. In my time, my favorite dish was the same as my family’s favorites.’ Kusum nodded and went to the kitchen to prepare the heavy lunch menu, before Parag and Murari returned from school and workplace respectively.

Parag returned first, followed by Murari. While they went to wash their hands and feet, Kusum plated the lunch on the dining table and called everyone. Everyone enjoyed the delicacies made by Kusum. After the lunch everyone went to take a nap. Kusum washed the dishes and utensils used in the lunch. As she completed, Madan called, ‘Bahu, can you please apply some oil to my leg, it is paining very much.’ Kusum massaged the leg of her parent-in-laws and told them, ‘You never take care of your health. Don’t neglect your health. Take adequate rest so that you remain healthy.’ As soon as she completed, she remembered that there were many dirty clothes to be washed. She washed the clothes and hanged them on the wire at the roof. After all works were completed, it was already 3:00 pm. She went to bed to take a power nap but as soon as she closed her eyes many undone works of house surfaced her mind. She couldn’t sleep at all out of anxiety. She suddenly woke up and started the cleaning job. She found out dust in every nook and corner of house and started cleaning it. After that she did the evening prayer. In the same evening, she helped Parag complete his homework and revise the lesson taught in the school that day. After spending some time on studies of Parag, she prepared the dinner and served the family. After completing all her works at 11:00pm, as she went to the bed, she realized that her head was aching severely. She took a painkiller for relief. Though she was highly drained, but she couldn’t sleep. She started feeling restless for some time but eventually ended up sleeping for the next six hours until the daybreak.

The next day started the same way until dropping Parag to school. This day she had to buy vegetables from the market too. She started towards the market. The sun blazed fiercely. Kusum was exhausted while marketing, so she sat under the shade of a large peepal tree infront of a temple. A woman sitting beside her handed over a bottle of water to Kusum seeing her perspiring face. Kusum gulped the water in haste as she was completely worn-out. Both of them chatted for some time. Kusum saw that the woman was very much tensed and asked her the reason for it. The woman replied, ‘Madam, my husband is a barber, and I am a maid. Our daughter goes to a school, but I am unable to pay the fee. My husband doesn’t want our daughter to go to school so he is intentionally not paying the fee.’ Kusum said, ‘Your husband has so downtrodden thinking. In the times when the govt. is encouraging girl child education, he is not letting his daughter study. Such people never let India develop. When you educate a man, you educate an individual but if you educate a woman, you educate a nation.’ The woman responded, ‘Madam, you said correct. But only a highly educated person like you can only understand importance of education but we poor illiterate people, can never understand the essence of it. I want my daughter to be educated and understand its significance.’ Kusum said, ‘Education is always the key to success.

To understand education, you need not be compulsorily educated, but you can understand its worth by observing your surrounding itself. Educated people treat your diseases, make your houses, make new discoveries etc. Sometimes education comes from experience. Any form of learning is education. Your thought of educating your daughter going against your husband’s will is really very noble. Don’t worry, I will help you financially. Meet me at this place tomorrow, I will give you money so that you can pay the dues.’ The women nodded in denial and told, ‘I can’t take money from you without giving anything in return, but I have a solution.’ Kusum asked for the solution. The women told, ‘If you allow me to work for you as a maid, then you can pay me money for my service.’ Kusum hesitated and told, ‘I manage my household properly. I don’t require a maid. I feel satisfied doing my household chores. I will give you money without any service, don’t worry. I will be grateful to you for giving me a chance to educate a girl.’ The women hesitated to take money and requested Kusum to keep her on work. After constant appeals, Kusum agreed half-heartedly and hired her. Kusum asked, ‘What is your name?’ The women replied, ‘Kamla is my name.’ Kusum briefed the direction of her house to Kamla.

The very next day, at morning 6:00 am, Kusum could hear the rings of doorbell while offering the morning prayer. She opened the gate and saw Kamla standing infront of her. She instantly recalled her conversations with Kamla the previous day, which she had forgotten due to heavy workload. She asked Kamla to come inside but pointed her the floor and said, ‘I am sorry. I completely forgot about you. So, I have already swept and moped the floor as a daily habit. But you can help me with making the breakfast. Let me take you to the kitchen.’ She accompanied Kamla to the kitchen and guided her by showing the position of various jars and cans. After informing about the menu to be made in breakfast, Kusum headed to wake Parag up. In every 5 minutes, Kusum would come to the kitchen and guide Kamla. Sometimes she would say that the salt is less and sometimes that the turmeric is more. After coming for many times to kitchen, she finally told Kamla, ‘Give me the stirrer, I will show you the right way.’

Saying this, she stirred the curry herself many times. Finally, after doing the same thing, but by herself, she was satisfied. Kusum did the same for other chores also. She would instruct Kamla to do a job but would find minute faults in her work and do the same job again. This made her satisfied. Kamla though initially thought that Kusum didn’t like her work but later realized that performing the chores had become a habit for Kusum so without doing them she felt awkward.

 When Kamla started leaving for her house, Kusum stopped her from back and told, ‘Wait Kamla, I would give you advance of your work.’ Kamla was glad but said, ‘Madam, you did all the work yourself which you asked me to do today. If you find a fault you can tell me.’ Kusum handed over the money for whole month which were enough for paying Rani’s school fees and told, ‘Kamla, I really liked your work but please don’t come from tomorrow.’ Kamla was surprised and with a tearful eye asked Kusum the reason for such harsh decision. Kusum said, ‘Don’t be sad please. Actually, the problem is not with you but with me. I become uncomfortable when I do not perform the daily duties.’ As soon as Kusum said so, she started feeling dizzy and her head started aching severely.

She became unconscious and fell down. Kamla shouted for help. Kusum’s Parent-in-laws rushed to the place. All three of them picked her up and made her lie on the sofa. Kamla sprinkled some water on Kusum’s face continuously. Kusum got back her sense. Radha told, ‘These days Kusum keeps on becoming unconscious frequently.’ Kamla understood well that it was because of a heavy work load that Kusum was unhealthy. She could relate to the condition because she herself knew the pain of handling the domestic tasks. She forced Kusum continuously to keep her on work by telling, ‘I wouldn’t accept free payment. I would work for at least this month to make up for the money you gave me. Kusum had to accept the proposal at the end seeing the dedication and honesty in eyes of Kamla.

Upon telling the truth of keeping a maid at the house, Murari was horrified and told, ‘Kusum, what was the need of keeping a maid? You managed the chores yourself from the day you became the daughter in law of this family. Why to waste money on simple works like household chores when you sit idle in the house?’ Kusum explained, ‘I didn’t want to keep the maid, but she is in serious need of money. I offered her money, but she forced me to keep her as maid so that she can lend her service in return of the money. Don’t worry Murari ji, it is just for a single month. After that I would ask her not to come.’ Murari exclaimed, ‘You don’t know that these are the tactics of these people to work in the houses of people. They get a lot of money for those works which are of least importance. She would pester you to keep her forever.’ Kusum calmly said, ‘I have seen honesty in her eyes. I don’t think she would cheat me.’ Murari gave a sarcastic expression. Everyone in the family considered the decision of Kusum to keep a maid as a wastage of money.

Kamla arrived daily at Kusum’s house to do her job. Kusum had an attitude same as the first day due to her addiction towards the domestic chores. Many a times Kamla made Kusum understand to leave a work completely on her and take rest. Kamla also took care of Kusum’s health. Day by day Kusum started spending less time on work and more time on looking after her health. One day Kamla asked her, ‘Why don’t you smile anytime? The tensed face doesn’t suit you, madam.’ Kusum forced a smile on her face but realized that she had even forgot expressing her emotions in the burden of works. Kusum realized that her addiction to work wasn’t her enjoyment but a compulsion which she did daily but couldn’t get happiness out of it. Kusum and Kamla chatted with each other in free time. Both of them became so great companions of each other that they started pouring out their daily thoughts and emotions infront of each other. Kamla was amazed by the strong dedication of Kusum for her family wellbeing. She admired the caring attitude of Kusum. Kusum was also heartbroken hearing the miserable conditions of Kamla in her house. She was inspired by the courage and strength of Kamla due to which she could remain contented, resisting all her odds of life.

With a reduced workload, due to sharing of work by Kamla, Kusum started knowing herself better. She recalled her hobbies and favourite pastimes and in free time started pursuing those. She started gardening, knitting clothes, and reading books. She could remember that she enjoyed holidaying and travelling when she was young. She asked Murari to plan a family holiday. Murari denied every time she asked, stating that he was very busy with his works in the recent days. Finally, after many days, it was decided that the family would go on a picnic on a Sunday. Kusum was very excited from the previous day and made all the preparations for the picnic enthusiastically. They had decided to handover the house key to a neighbor who would give it to Kamla, so that she can do the cleaning of house.

The thrilling day arrived, and everyone was ready to enjoy the holiday. Everyone stepped out of the house to sit in the large car of Murari. While Kusum was going to lock the main door, telephone inside the house rang. Murari went inside and picked the call. It was Murari’s cousin who informed that he was going to come that day to his house along with his wife and son. Murari tried talking about their picnic, but cousin said that it was their last day in India after which they were shifting to London owing to his transfer. Listening this Murari said, ‘Ok no problem, I will ask Kusum to stay back to attend you.’ Telling this he cut the phone. Kusum was shattered listening. She eagerly wanted to go on the holiday. She questioned, ‘Was it that important for them to come today?’ Murari expressed, ‘Kusum, you heard that it was their last day in India and they want to stay in our house for a day. Don’t worry, I would take you on holiday some day later.’ Kusum said, ‘But, we have given the key to neighbor, so, they can stay in our house, till we return.’ Radha said, ‘They are coming after so many days. If we said them to stay alone in the house without a family member for welcoming them then they would feel bad.’ Murari consoled Kusum by telling, ‘We will go to a better place the next time.’ Kusum was heartbroken but nodded in affirmative. She ran inside the house being teary eyed. The rest of the family members left for the picnic in the car.

Kusum sadly sat on the sofa with a book. She was so upset that she couldn’t concentrate on the content she read. She felt betrayed. A thought came to her mind that nobody cared for her happiness though she never compromised to keep everyone happy at every time. She was devastated. In the meantime, Kamla arrived at the house. She saw the main gate was wide open unlike other days with Kusum sitting on the entrance sofa. She went near her and saw her distressed. She consoled her and asked her the matter. Kusum looked at Kamla and broke out with moist eyes. She described the whole matter to Kamla. Kamla was dismayed listening to the happening but calmed Kusum.

She thought for some time and told, ‘Madam, don’t get upset please. Look, I have got a good thing out of all the happenings. You work daily, but today you can rest the whole day because the family is out for the picnic and don’t worry, I will manage all the works alone, today.’ Kusum thought for some time and told, ‘Yes you are right. You are highly optimistic. You find good in every bad.’ Kusum was so tired of her daily routine that she lied on the sofa to take rest. Kamla did all the works including the cooking. In so many days, she had known about Kusum’s favorite dish. She cooked delicious food to please Kusum. She did the work with full enjoyment. While doing the chores, she was so involved that she started humming songs. Kusum could hear the sweet Humm of Kamla and enjoyed her soothing tune. She wondered if Kamla would have ever learnt music.

 Kamla plated the lunch beautifully on the dining table and called Kusum. Kusum sat on a dining chair and said, ‘Come, today we both will have Lunch together.’ Kamla couldn’t understand Kusum’s words and gazed being startled for some time. Kusum again exclaimed, ‘Kamla, you are still standing! I told you to sit so that we can start the lunch. Kamla surprisingly said, ‘Madam, how can I… I…?’ ‘What I… I…? Come and sit.’ expressed Kusum. Kamla started sitting on the ground. Kusum stopped her and told, ‘Wait, why are you sitting on the ground? Sit on the dining chair infront of me. And now, we both will set our plate ourselves.’ Kamla was very happy as well as emotional. She told, ‘Madam, you are very nice. No one ever gave me such respect not even in my family.’

Kamla sat on the dining chair very carefully. Both of them set their plate themselves as decided and started having food together. Kusum told, ‘Kamla, you are the person for whom I could recall my hobbies and get back the lost joy of my life. I have become cheerful due to you. You have become my best friend.’ Kamla was grateful to Kusum for such words. Kusum ate the food and said, ‘Yummy, you cook delicious. I have never eaten such tasty food. You have magic in your hands, Kamla.’ After some chitchat on the topic of cooking and food Kamla expressed her thoughts. Kamla told Kusum, ‘Madam, don’t feel bad but I would say a thing. You have completely lost yourself in the routine of accomplishing your responsibilities of a housewife. Fulfilling your duties towards the family is a great work. But doing all the works, should not affect your health. When you will stay healthy, then only you can care for your family.’ Kusum stated, ‘I think you are saying right, Kamla. But everyone is busy except me. Who will do the duties if I leave it?’ Kamla told, ‘Madam, I am not asking you to leave your duties. You can reduce the load on you by distributing the work. If every one of the family started lending their helping hands for completing their small works, then you would be much relieved. For example, you can teach Parag to press his clothes, polish his shoes and pack his bags.

You can ask Sir ji to do the grocery and vegetable shopping while returning back from his workplace. You can ask your in-laws to remember their medicines and eat them on time if they are able to do it. Distributing work, helps to complete them easily and make them more enjoyable.’ Kusum said, ‘But they do other works too and I am a housewife. I cannot increase the burden of my family members to reduce my burden. Their health is also valuable to me.’ Kamla explained, ‘House belongs to all so its work should be handled equally by all. You are housewife but your works are no less than the works which Sir ji does in his workplace. Don’t demean your responsibilities, Madam. The distribution of work would lower the burden as everyone would discuss and take the works which they would enjoy and are comfortable doing.’ Kusum thought for a while and expressed, ‘You gave me the idea, but why don’t you apply the same idea to your house also? You would also become free. Your stress would reduce, if both of your earned money is used for good purpose like education of your daughter. Like the house is everyone’s responsibility, similarly daughter is also the responsibility of both of you equally.’

Kamla smiled and said, ‘Educated people are intelligent often to understand the emotions of their family members. In poor and illiterate families as us, the policy of sharing and caring is not applicable. Suresh would thrash me instead if I shared the idea with him. A person like Suresh can never change. Maybe, I had committed sins in my past lives, so I got such miserable life in my present.’ Kusum comforted Kamla and said, ‘Every reform can be brought in a house if the women of the house decide it. You promise me that you will talk to your husband regarding your problems openly, then only I will talk with my family members.’ Kamla hesitated first but had to promise owing to rigidity shown by Kusum.

Following these talks, Kusum thought for a while and said, ‘Kamla, you told me about your daily life and family many times. But you never told me about your hobbies. Kamla, do you sing also?’ Kamla looked at Kusum with a startled face but kept silent for some time. Kusum looked at her and said, ‘I asked the question because I heard you humming songs in melodious voice today, while you were cooking. You really have a harmonious voice.’ After a watchful moment of silence, Kamla revealed, ‘Madam, I love singing. I was trained in music in my school. So sometimes, I Humm a bit while completing my works, when I start enjoying it. Sorry Madam, I won’t repeat it again.’ Kusum excitedly asked, ‘No, no, why are you saying sorry? I want you to repeat it again and again. Your voice is highly soothing. You know, when I was a child, I learnt to play Sitar. I had a hobby of playing it even in initial days of my marriage. I got many prizes in several sitar playing competitions. But after marriage, I continued playing Sitar initially but later on I became so busy in fulfilling my duties towards my in-laws and my husband followed by my son, that I completely forgot about it. Today, when I heard about your training in music, I remembered about it swiftly. Those days were immemorable. I got immense joy in those days, playing the instrument.’ Kusum became gleeful recalling her past hobby. Kamla was happy seeing joy in Kusum’s eyes.

Kusum was irked by something and she asked, ‘But why didn’t you make your liking as your career? You could have earned name and may not have faced such financial issues.’ Kamla preferred remaining quiet primarily but after constant array of questions put forward by Kusum, she got emotional and revealed, ‘Madam, my husband disapproves the thought of women making singing as a career. He thinks that by this, the women become rude and disrespectful. To ensure that I completely leave music, he outlawed my singing even in my house. I try my best to stop singing but when I get involved in a work, I forget the surrounding and my habit of humming outdoes my consciousness.’ Saying this, Kamla got up from the chair to take the used utensils from the table to wash them. Kusum stopped her from back and said, ‘Why don’t you leave your husband? He tortures you and even doesn’t let you sing. Such man can never be husbands because husband is the one who cares and protects his wife rather than abusing her mentally and physically.’ Kamla responded, ‘Can you leave your family, if they don’t care for you? Madam, saying is easy but doing is way tougher. My identity is due to my husband. Who will recognize a married woman without the name of her husband associated to it?’ Kusum thought for a while and said, ‘Then let us create our own identities.’ Kamla smiled a bit but unspoken left the place carrying the utensils.

Kusum though deeply for some time. An idea struck her mind. She rushed to the storeroom and started searching for something in haste. Everywhere she searched. Finally on a corner of the room, she found it. Dust and cobwebs had wrapped the cloth with which it was covered. She dusted it with a hand broom. Dust went into her nose and she started coughing loudly. Kamla rushed to the storeroom hearing Kusum cough. She said, ‘Madam, why have you come to the storeroom. It is so dirty here. Tell me what you wanted to find; I will locate it. You should leave the storeroom before your cough gets worse.’ Kusum was coughing badly but happily said, ‘See, I got this. (Pointing her finger towards a thing)’ Kamla removed the cover and was amazed. She said, ‘It is a sitar. Is it your sitar?’ Kusum looked at her and exclaimed, ‘Nobody in this house played sitar ever in their life except me. So obviously it is mine. Now, help me take it to my room.’

Both Kusum and Kamla carried the heavy sitar to Kusum’s room. Kusum laid out a mat on the ground where they kept it. Kusum excitedly told, ‘Kamla, will you sing for me?’ Kamla could not initially understand the sudden happenings. She hesitated and said, ‘Madam, sing…? now? Why are you saying so?’ Kusum said, ‘Why are you asking so many questions? Wait let me make you understand, I have an idea.’ Kamla interrupted, ‘Which idea Madam?’ Kusum replied, ‘Don’t be haste. Wait, let me take a breath before answering your ocean of questions. Ok, Now the idea is that, you will sing and I will play the sitar on the same song. We will make a video of it and I will ask Parag to upload it on the YouTube. Parag has installed a YouTube app on my phone and I see that many people upload cooking, singing, dancing videos in this platform and earn fame and sometimes money also.’ Kamla was disgusted initially with the plan. She said, ‘No. no Madam, I can’t do it. I am so sorry. I have heard that these types of app like OOTUBEE are very dangerous. They misuse people. It would be highly shameful for my family when all people in the world will see me singing. No, no, these types of things are not made for me.’ Kusum chided and said, ‘Then you can never create your own identity. It is better for you to be in clutches of your torturing husband and walk behind him. You think that if people will see your ability and praise them, it will be a shame for your family. But I think your family would be proud if you earn a name of yours. But if you don’t want, leave it.’

Kamla looked at an angry Kusum and said, ‘I want to earn an identity but I am frightened. I always wanted to make my family proud by my talent but could never do it. But if it reaches my husband, he would kill me. If you still want then I would do it.’ Kusum was happy hearing that Kamla wanted to be independent. She said, ‘Don’t worry, it won’t reach your husband that soon and if at all it reaches him, it will be after you become famous in the world, when he won’t be able to kill you. We will perform our best and let God decide our fate after that.’ Kamla nodded her head. Though she was happy but many confusions surfaced her mind.

Kusum and Kamla prayed goddess Saraswati, who is considered as goddess of music, before starting their new phase of life. They washed the sitar properly and placed it infront of the house temple. Kusum worshipped the instrument by applying sandalwood and vermilion tika on it. Both of them made themselves ready. They were very nervous because they were reviving their hobbies after so many years. Initially, when they started the practice, they felt as if they had forgotten the tunes but after a rigorous practice of nearly four hours, they regained the confidence. As they were already experts in their hobbies, it required less practice for both to recall it. Kusum said, ‘the last practice was superb. I feel now, we are ready to record our song.’ Kamla was still nervous and said, ‘Madam, I am doing all this for first time. Will it be successful. If we fail?’ Kusum reassured her, ‘No chance of fail, Kamla, when we both are determined and together. Don’t worry so much. I am also doing it for first time. Leave all worries and let God decide the outcome. He will do the best for us.’ Kusum set her mobile at a perfect place so that both of them are visible. Before starting to record, she realized that Kamla was frightened due to the recording and asked her to forget about it rather perform freely, just the same way as she was doing, when both of them were practicing. They performed on a Bhajan of God. After performing, they replayed the video. Both of them were highly satisfied with their performance. Kamla joyfully said, ‘Madam, I never expected we could perform so well. The tune is so soothing.’

Kusum said, ‘I told you. Have faith on yourself and God, everything will be good.’ Kamla nodded. It was already evening and was the time for Kamla to leave for her house. Kusum’s family had still not come back. Kusum said, ‘I will ask Parag to upload it. Till then don’t tell anyone about our new work.’ Kamla shook her head in affirmation and left. As soon as Kamla left, the telephone rang again. Kusum picked up the call and it was the same cousin of Murari who planned to visit his house. This time, he informed that he had extended the date of leaving for London and will visit their house the next day. Although, Kusum was sad initially because the reason for which she was forced to stay back at home, wasn’t fulfilled but soon became happy realizing that the day couldn’t have been that exciting and important if she would have gone to the picnic with the family.

As soon as Kamla reached her small house after spending the whole day at Kusum’s house, she saw Suresh stood at the gate holding a watch and torch. It was already dark. Suresh rudely questioned Kamla, ‘Where were you till now? These days I find you more outside, than in the house. What’s the matter?’ Before Kamla could speak anything, Suresh continued, ‘I doubt did you join any music class without telling me? Or any other secretive work you do?’ Telling this he holds her wrist tightly and warned, ‘Don’t try to be over smart. If I know anything you try to do without my wish, I will throw you and your daughter out of my house. Both of you are of no work to me.’ Kamla being terrified said, ‘What… what… are you saying? Why would I… I… join a singing class without informing you? I had informed you that I found a new house to work, recently. There I help the Madam with all the works so, I get late coming to home. Please don’t doubt on me unnecessarily.’ Suresh said, ‘It would be good for you if you follow my orders.’ Kamla nodded and was heading inside the house. She was very frightened thinking about her and her daughter’s condition if her truth is revealed infront of Suresh. She felt bad lying to her husband. Suresh stopped her from behind, ‘You, listen to me, I don’t care about the work you do. But return to house on time. Wont you fulfill your duties towards me. I have to plate the lunch myself. I won’t compromise, if you work in people’s houses instead of fulfilling the responsibilities of an ideal wife.’ He continued, ‘I am going to shop to drink. Prepare tasty dinner before I return. You understand?’

Kamla nodded her bowed head in fear. She smelled hypocrisy in the words of that man who could never be an ideal husband but asked her to fulfill responsibilities of an ideal wife. She realized that the society which expects woman to play all their roles ideally, turns a blind eye when it comes to the responsibilities of a man. She went inside the house and saw Rani reading her book. She had already paid the remaining dues of Rani’s school by the money which Kusum had given her as advance payment. She thought deeply about the new venture that she had started and eventually realized that, if she earns limelight in the society by her talent, then she can secure a good life for her daughter. She determined herself to make her new venture a success and placed her hand over Rani’s head.

Kusum’s family returned from the picnic at 7:00pm. Kusum opened the gate and greeted them. She asked them about their trip. Murari said, ‘The trip was not good at all. The place was so crowded that we didn’t even get a proper place to spread our mat. The place was dusty.’ Radha said, ‘Horrible trip, we couldn’t even visit the temple because it was closed for Sunday.’ Madan said, ‘We had to park our car at a great distance from the picnic spot. Walking the whole day, my joints are paining severely.’ Parag with a crunched face said, ‘Mom, it was a boring trip. I wasted my time going there.’ Kusum felt bad for her family because she realized that she had enjoyed more being in the house than her family in the picnic. She informed them that Murari’s cousin didn’t come that day and would come the next day. Murari said, ‘Oh no, you could have come with us to the picnic.’ Kusum thought in mind ‘It is good that I didn’t go with them or else my condition would have been like them. Tired and sad.’ Everyone went to wash their limbs. Madan told Kusum, ‘Bahu, it was so difficult without you. We couldn’t even eat our medicines properly. The food couldn’t be distributed properly. If you would not be present for a day also, the family would get imbalanced.’ Kusum was happy that his father-in-law understood her importance in the house. She was worried because her in-laws hadn’t taken medicines properly. She gave them the evening medicines and massaged their paining legs.

With a lot of courage she said, ‘Maaji and Papaji, you couldn’t take the medicines properly because you don’t remember the timings. I suggest you to remember the medicines and their timings so that you both won’t face any problem in my absence. It would be a help to me also.’ Madan approved the idea and asked Kusum to write the timings of medicines on their covers so that they can remember it. Radha was irked by Kusum’s suggestion but accepted it only because her husband had accepted it. Kusum prepared the dinner for the family. As soon as all the works were over by 10:00 pm, she went to Parag’s room silently. She told, ‘Parag will you do a work for me?’ Parag told, ‘What is it maa? Tell me the work.’ Kusum said, ‘Listen, I have recorded a music video of mine and Kamla. Can you teach me to upload it on YouTube?’ She showed the video to Parag. He was amazed. He told, ‘Maa, you can play sitar? I never knew. You bought the sitar?’ Kusum said, ‘Arre, no, the sitar was there in our storeroom. It is mine. You have never seen it because I have never played it after your birth.’ Parag told, ‘Hmm, I see. I would upload it on the YouTube. But what will I get in return?’ Kusum looked at Parag with large eyes and said, ‘Now you want bribe for doing my work. Very bad. You have become bad boy.’ Parag said, ‘No, no, I am not bad boy. I just wanted you to cook my favorite dish tomorrow.’ Kusum hugged him and said, ‘Ok done, you do my work and I will do yours.’

Parag first created a YouTube account. Parag asked Kusum to give a suitable name to their channel. Kusum thought for a while and spoke, ‘The channel name should be, “MERI AWAAZ, MERI PEHCHAAN”’. Parag Grunted, ‘Oh! Such outdated name.’ Kusum told, ‘The name is old-fashioned but the deep meaning associated with it, is surely not.’ Though apprehensive of the name, Parag uploaded the video and wrote about the singers in the description box. He taught Kusum, the steps to upload subsequent videos if she wanted, so that she would not need his help, always. As soon as the video was uploaded, he logged in with his account, liked the video and subscribed. He clicked on share option and shared it with his friends. Kusum asked Parag to not inform the other family members about the video. Kusum slept with high hopes by praying God.

The next morning, she woke up, got ready and went to perform the morning prayer. The doorbell rang and Kusum excitedly opened the door. It was Kamla. They both prayed to God and checked the mobile. They saw that their video had 150 likes and 300 views and there were no dislikes. They were happy that at least they could attract a few people with their talent. They read the comments and found that all the people had praised the song, both the voice and instrument playing. They were contented. Kusum hurried to Parag’s room to wake him up. She woke him up and showed the mobile. He was also amazed on such numbers in the first video on the second day. Kusum and Kamla’s effort had given an impressing result. There were already 75 subscribers of the channel by then.

The secret of the video reached Murari on the third day of uploading it. He got the video being shared by one of his colleagues. He was astonished on seeing Kusum’s video. He rushed to house and called all the family members to the hall. Everyone came rushing. He played the video infront of all. Kusum was excited to know the reactions of her family members. Everyone was stunned seeing the video. After the video ended Murari said, ‘Kusum when did you start recording songs? I thought you left playing sitar. Why didn’t you inform all of us about this thing?’ Kusum said, ‘I thought to restart my hobby because it gives me immense joy to play the sitar again, after so many days. I didn’t inform you so that you come to know about my new venture after it gains popularity.’ Radha said, ‘It is good to sing songs but, within the premises of ones’ home. Uploading it for every people around the world to see you sing, is disgusting. What will the relatives and people of society tell, when they come to know about it? We won’t be able to show our face to anyone.’ Murari said, ‘Kusum, Maa is telling right and if you have much free time, you can use it in doing the domestic works properly. You hired a maid but you waste your time in making videos and that too with the maid. You have lost your mind.’ Kusum being surprised said, ‘Murari, you think this. I have never denied to do any chore. I did it with full dedication without ever thinking about myself. I never asked anyone of you to help me and now when I am trying to practice my hobbies and interests, you tell it as a wastage of time!’ Murari said, ‘You are a housewife. Your only job is to handle the household chores properly. Why would you need help, to complete easy works such as cooking and cleaning? You don’t earn money for the family like I do, by doing hard jobs at my work place. You cannot handle a single job of doing the household chores?’ Kusum replied, ‘You think the everyday chores to be easy, then please do it for a day, then only you will understand my work. I am a housewife but the house belongs to all, so the works should be equally distributed between all. You earn for the family but I use your earnings efficiently. You earn food but I make food. Your earnings become fruitful only when I work on it. If I would not be there, you have to pay money to maid, cook, driver, washerman, tuition teacher and Helper to take care of Maaji and Papaji. I do all the works for free still you don’t understand its worth. I have some likings and need some time for myself. But if I do a job for my happiness, you have a problem with it?’

‘No bahu, you are right. Without you, the family would fall. These people would never understand you but I give you permission to play the sitar and bring laurels for our family.’, said Madan. Kusum was pleasured hearing that someone in the family understood her. Madan ordered Radha and Murari to allow Kusum to continue her work. Both of them half-heartedly agreed because senior most member of the family had given the permission. Murari said, ‘You are flying now with arrogance, but I will also see, who will want to hear the music of a middle age unknown lady. Your videos would be flop and it would cut your wings. You would return back to become the ‘Housewife Kusum’ again.’ Kusum took the challenge and said, ‘Let’s see the outcome. I will make myself known by working hard and it would be my greatest success when you both (Murari and Radha) will approve my work whole-heartedly.’ Madan blessed her and promised that he would help her by doing his works all by himself, so that she gets time for earning her identity. Seeing all these happenings, Kamla’s dread increased to the greatest level but by God’s grace the video didn’t reach Suresh that fast.

Kamla and Kusum practiced a lot and posted videos of different songs. With each song, their popularity increased manifold. People really loved their melodious voice. Eventually, they won several accolades for their talent. Soon, they gave competition to the videos of renowned singers, in terms of likes and views. Although they focused on music, they didn’t forget their responsibilities towards their family. They did the domestic chores as much as they could do. Meanwhile, Madan also taught Parag to do his own works by himself. Madan not only remembered his medicines but also remembered medicines of Radha. Kusum considered herself lucky for getting a supportive father-in-law who helped her by doing small works, so that she could focus more on her singing career and get ample time to practice new songs.

As the popularity rose, relatives and friends of Murari congratulated him. Relatives told Radha that she was lucky to get a talented daughter-in-law like Kusum. With increasing subscribers and reputation, Advertising companies started showing their product ads on the music videos of K&K MUSIC channel. Due to this Kamla and Kusum started earning money. Kusum gave most of the money to Kamla with help of which she paid school fees of Rani and could save them. Kusum kept some money for herself as her savings. On asking, Kamla would tell that the money was a result of her hardwork, working as a maid in several houses, to Suresh.

Both the women had created their identities as famous melodious musicians of the country. The rave popularity of their melody even reached the international level as people from different countries recognized India to be storehouse of musical gems like Kamla and Kusum. Both of them made their country proud with their singing. Soon, Murari and Radha accepted the artist within Kusum, candidly and became a support in her journey. Murari said, ‘Sorry Kusum. I undermining your talent initially by now, I am grateful to have a wife like you. Papa (Madan) made me realize the amount of hardwork you do for the house. We had become very selfish. Please forgive us.’ Kusum said, ‘This is the best day that my family is there to support me.’ She ardently prayed God for Kamla, so that her family altruistically accepts her music.

Rani had already known about her mother’s new journey through her friends and teacher. She saw her mother’s videos, concealing it from her father. She knew that if Suresh would come to know, he would harm her mother. Rani also tried to keep her mother’s fame a secret with her father in all possible ways. With such high popularity, fans started visiting the houses of the ladies to encourage them and ask for their autographs. Kamla had asked Kusum to not reveal her house location or else it would create problem for her. Kamla met with fans only at Kusum’s house.

But one day, after much searching and asking, one of Kamla’s fans reached at Suresh’s small salon. He asked about Kamla’s location to him. Suresh asked, ‘Who Kamla?’ The fan said, ‘someone told me that famous singer Kamla is your wife and you are asking who Kamla?’ He showed a music video of Kamla to Suresh. Suresh could now connect all the facts. He could understand the reason of Kamla coming late to the house and her making a lot of money suddenly in a short span of time. He fumed with anger. He sent the admirer to a wrong location and himself went to his house to give punishment to Kamla, for her treachery. He reached the house and grabbed the wrist of Kamla. He pulled her out of the house and was going to slap her.

Suddenly someone hold his hands from back. It was Kusum. Kusum had visited to Kamla’s house so that she could gift Kamla a new saree bought with the money she earned from YouTube because she always saw Kamla wearing few torn sarees regularly even after earning herself. She angrily told Suresh, ‘You are a disgusting man. The man who abuses his wife is not a human. Your wife has brought glory for your house but you are unable to understand her importance till now.’ In anger she told, ‘Kamla, don’t you feel ashamed, calling this man your husband. Why do you keep on tolerating all his abuses and tortures? Today, I will ask you the same question which I asked you, before you earned an identity. Why don’t you leave him? You have earned your own identity and now you have money to buy a new house for you and your daughter. You can continue your singing and can give a better life to your daughter by leaving this prison which forces you to follow the rules made by an unruly person (pointing to the house and Suresh respectively).’ Kamla remained silent as her throat chocked with distress. She was helpless. It was a tough decision for her. Breaking a long-standing relationship isn’t easy in part of any human being, owing to the oceans of emotions attached with it.

 Kusum looked at Suresh and said, ‘You got such a great wife. Though you give her inhuman treatment, still she is silent and cares for you. And this name (pointing to the nameplate); wait let me correct it.’ Kusum took out a pen, cut Suresh’s name on the name plate and wrote Kamla’s name on it in big-bold letters. She said, ‘Now it is perfect. This is the truth. Now, people know you by your wife’s name.’

Suresh said, ‘I am silent from much time, so you are going on speaking. Singing is the reason that you women have become shameless. Who are you to interfere in our family matters? Today, I will throw this Kamla and Rani out of my house.’

As soon as Suresh said so, he started having severe pain in his abdominal region all of a sudden. Kamla brought water for Suresh. The pain went on increasing. Kusum called the doctor when the condition became serious. Suresh was taken by an ambulance and admitted in the hospital. The patient was attended early, owing to the popularity which Kamla had gained by showcasing her talent. The doctor declared Suresh’s liver had damaged due to severe intake of Alcohol. He informed that he only way to save Suresh was liver transplantation. Search for a suitable donor ended with Kamla. A part of Kamla’s liver was transplanted to Suresh for saving him. Suresh had no money for payment of the hospital fees but Kamla used the money, she earned from YouTube for the purpose. After the transplant was successful, Kamla went inside to meet Suresh. She exclaimed, ‘Thank you God, for saving my husband.’

Suresh learnt that the hospital fee payment and liver transplant was only possible due to Kamla, from the doctor. He went a gradual change of heart. He laid on the hospital bed and closed his eyes. The instances of all the domestic abuse that Kamla was subjected to, by him surfaced his mind and made him depressed. He couldn’t imagine that the woman whom he maltreated always, was the one who saved his life. The realization hit him hard. He opened his eyes and looked at Kamla who was sitting beside him. He said with a folded hand, ‘Kamla, I have always mistreated you. I didn’t allow you to fulfill your dream. I was even was going to throw you out of my house but, still you saved my life. Why did you do it?’ Kamla said, ‘Suresh, you may not have cared for me ever but I always cared for you. It was for you and Rani that I worked day and night as a maid and it was for you both only that I wanted to create my identity. I wanted my husband and daughter to have a good life, so I wanted the fame. Without you, my identity is meaningless.’

 Kusum interrupted from back, ‘You are wrong Kamla. Sorry to disturb, but the fame you earned is due to you and only for you. Every person in this world wants recognition. You earned your name in true sense. You changed your identity from Suresh’s wife to Kamla.’ Suresh said, ‘Thank you Kamla for all you did for me. I promise you that I will always support you and will never misbehave with you.’ Kamla said, ‘I want another promise from you, that you will quit drinking completely.’ Suresh said, ‘Promise. I will never drink from today,’ Kusum said, ‘It would be very difficult for you to leave drinking suddenly as you were highly addicted so, you must take help of a Drug de-addiction center to help you come out of this deadly addiction.’ She continued, ‘Suresh babu, you know that the doctor that treated you was a girl. She could become a doctor only by means of education. Imagine one day your daughter would become a doctor or any profession which she likes, with aid of education. Wont you like it?’ Suresh said, ‘I have bought a patriarchal mindset because I have grown in such family where women are not given any importance. But seeing Kamla and Rani, I am forced to change my mentality. I understood your implications, Madam. I would support my daughter’s education from now onwards so that she earns her name in the society like her mother and not become like her father.’ Kamla was very happy observing the humongous change in attitude of Suresh. She realized that her identity has really helped her to change her lifestyle. Kusum was also happy seeing Kamla happy.

Both the women changed themselves but for good. With earning identities, they turned their problems into opportunities leading them to a better life

Yet again, two women have free themselves from the chains of societal prejudices to create their own identities. The ones who had lost themselves in the spiral of duties and responsibilities, have discovered themselves and emerged as the leads of their own story.

SOMETHING MORE TO KNOW

We hear about many diseases and syndromes in our daily lives. But there is one syndrome, which most of us would have not heard and the sole reason for it is that the society denies to identify it as a disorder. The syndrome is SUPERWOMAN SYNDROME.

One of the protagonists of the story, Kusum suffers from the above-mentioned syndrome.

Woman, especially in India, from their childhood, are asked to be perfect in all of their work. They are expected to manage household works along with their relationships perfectly. This has created a buzz in the mind of many girls to be a perfectionist in all jobs which they handle. Any work performed an inch less than perfect, become unacceptable to them. They want to handle all the works by themselves and would often dislike when people try helping them. Although they think that they enjoy working but the truth is that doing work becomes an obsession for them rather than enjoyment. In these conditions, Woman forget about their own health because they use all of their time in finding the undone works. This syndrome unwantedly invites several other problems like anxiety, bouts of irritability, inability to sleep or excessive sleep, memory issues, muscle tension, sweating when not physically active, inability to concentrate and general aches and pains.

The solution to this problem is that the woman, suffering from such syndrome, should be made to realize the importance of self-health care. They should be made to understand the importance of dividing work among all the family members so that everyone remains healthy. Perfection in works is desirable but it is not always required that all the works which are undertaken are done perfectly. So, one should accept small mistakes heartily and try to learn from it rather than treating them rigidly. This helps to keep oneself mentally healthy.

Woman like Kusum, who suffer from Superwoman syndrome require proper counselling and family support before their health condition deteriorates.

Every woman in this earth is a superwoman but tender care and emotional support ensures that this truth doesn’t change into a disorder.