What's With Me?

Why do you want to make me a rebel?

Why do you want to make me renunciate?

Sometimes I do wonder if I am that bad.

Of course, I am bad in a few ways,

I am lazy, crazy and reserved I can't even determine what kind of introvert I am or even not

Sometimes I am totally comfortable with society, and social life and I would appreciate each and everything in this world.

It seems beautiful, meaningful and wonderful.

The same society gives me social anxiety, pressure, insecurities and depression

Everything seems scary, confusion and all need an escape route from everyone and everything

I just want to lose myself in my existence

Sometimes I do feel like running away 

And sometimes it's the other way around

I want to face this world I feel strong enough to face everything that comes my way and I want to prove myself and push myself to the best of my ability.

Sometimes I feel a lack of luck then it seems that I am flooded with luck.

Sometimes it's a void keeping me struck and then it huge open field the exposure wants me to hide again after one fresh breath

I just get happy and excited easily and I get disappointed and hurt easily I even get angry easily but won't show it I keep bottled up and then pop up everything at once