Lost Hope

As I sip this drink out a glass I reminisce about the past

Really missing all the homies that passed

Regretting the moments I didn't make last 

Words that I couldn't take back 

Things that I can never say to make everything better

Ride through the storm and it only gets wetter 

The way that it's going I don't see a change in the weather

But whether it changes or not 

I will always be stuck with these thoughts

My demons are screaming at me to give up 

Just succumb to the liquid you poured in that cup 

And That I know that I'm real

I'm becoming so numb 

And I just want to feel 

But then I think of my mom

Damn 

Guess I'm starting at the basics 

Sooner or later knew I had to face it 

I got to be blinded about me getting famous 

So now I am praying but knowing I'm faithless is hard 

So I look to the stars

But I don't see em shining

And I know I got bars 

But you don't see me smiling

I be stuck in depression I hide behind the music to cover

The fact that insanity's lucid the truth is I'm dying inside 

I don't wanna live if all I live is lies

So look through my eyes and see what I see 

Flow through my veins and bleed when I bleed

Take hold of my heart and feel when it beats 

Cos' I could easily be the next one deceased 

Then I ...gaze at the hourglass watching sand fall

As this time passes by and I don't give a fuck at all 

How can I climb up this wall 

How can I jump but not fall 

How can I battle withdrawals 

Why do I feel good doing drugs but feel like shit when I sober up 

I Wanna relapse so bad I try but can't cuz my body rejects the stuff 

It affects my love

Cuz I fell for lust 

To the point, I can't feel shit unless I'm buzzed

That's some real shit 

I'm addicted to it 

Feeling depression but it's lifted the second booze is hitting 

Like who you kidding 

Been going through this my whole life 

Still dealing with this since I was a kid now I'm a grown man 

Killing all these rappers leave their bodies decomposing put remains into a shallow grave 

Bars burying like Conan

Already sold my soul 

Don't have much left 

Barely have a heart but these beats help me sleep at night 

But when I dream at night I get tortured

From things that I did that I should've gone to court for 

Shedded so much blood could've caught me red handed 

When I become a star I wanna leave this planet 

Crippled from the stress man I really can't stand it 

Smashing every mirror and I'm screaming goddammit! 

Like what's next who the next to leave who’s the next to text death threats their next to bleed 

Who’s standing next to me could be my down fall 

Got no one else to blame it’s my damn fault 

If I’m found face down on that asphalt 

Will anyone try to remember me 

Replay all the songs that I made back then find the message that I did this all just to helped these teens 

NEVER

Lost hope 

Lost dreams

Lost friends 

Lost sleep 

Lost grip

Lost creed 

Most importantly I never lost me 

There’s a couple of rules that I live by 

That apply themselves to my morals 

Most the time it keeps me safe and out of shit 

But find other times I’m in quarrels