My Depressions

My pains, no one ever even apprehension.

The way my eyes flashes when I say deceitful words.

They don't observe what I'm pretending within,

The thought never even comes to mind.

Unseen, the devil inside of me burns me.

With its fire, it tries to take control all the time.

Continually sending me thoughts of death.

Wanting me to hurt the ones I love the most.

They don't see the way I turn away,

When I see the right moments to kill someone off

Making them fall to their deaths,

The madness inside of me snickers,

The way the moment plays in my mind.

It makes me feel alive,

Thinking of the blood surrounding their body.

How the screams and tears of others around me,

Would fill my ears with sweet harmony.

I can't let that part take control of me,

But it's slowly reaching the surface of my soul,

Fighting to get away from my cage I've put them in.

But I'm fighting right back.

I don't want to remember my darkest times,

When I was put down the most.

Those days will forever stay in my memory,

But the memory that is never remembered,

But never forgotten.

Behind my tears and my pain.

They'll never be touched again.

Never able to see the surface of my thoughts.

I just wish I had enough sanity to be stronger.

So I wouldn't have to fight against myself.

All of my problems would be gone,

As if I was just normal, like everyone around me.

It's burning my sanity from the inside out,

Waiting until I give into the flames.

I can't afford to give in, not now.

No one can know my past.

Who I really am.

For the other side of me is a devil,

Who is waiting to bring hell on Earth.