The Wonder Woman - My Mother

It gives me immense pleasure to write about something special that I haven’t tried to do before. I must say the timing is also perfect. Because the woman for whom I would like to dedicate this post, primarily, is returning from our native place today at early hours. I am referring to my mother. Undoubtedly, she is the most influential woman in my life.

‘How convenient?’, as one may think about the choice that I made. Well, that may be true but that too is a fact. She is the most influential woman in my life so far. Having spent 20+ years in the canopy of her blessings, love and care, why can’t she be the one. This will be injustice to her motherhood and the struggle she encountered while raising me and my brother and taking care of my father, if I fail to acknowledge her efforts. I simply couldn’t let go this forum.

Being with her for such a long period of time, I have seen my mother at her best as well as at her worst times. If I went on articulating each instance I may never finish. I might as well end up writing a book. Anyways, on this special occasion, I shall respect the brevity and encapsulate some of the critical moments and experiences that qualifies her to be the most influential one in my life.

My mother is younger than other siblings in her family. Hence, the most adored and loved child of my grandmother. Unfortunately, after her demise, she became alone. All her siblings had settled down and were busy with their own married life. Their priorities had obviously changed and being the younger of all she was too young to get married. Little did she know but her hardship had begun.

Her father: my grandfather too couldn’t handle his life alone and got married again soon. The problem was that he got married to a lady who was much younger than my mother’s elder sister. For her father and siblings, she became the mantel piece. She hopped from one place to another as and when they needed her as per their convenience, just like the racing cars that makes a pit stop. The only difference is the pit stops are meant for the betterment of the cars and in her case, it was for the other’s well-being but hers. She was alone even in the company of her dear ones.

She didn’t give up and held on to it. At an early age of 18, she took the job and pursued her life positively. She became independent. Unfortunately, in the chaos of one who would take her responsibility she couldn’t complete her studies. Hence, she adopted the best way to tackle this impediment that is by getting employed in one of the organizations as the head clerk. That’s where she met my father.

After marriage too, there was no end to her struggle. But having found herself in the company of a person who loved and thought about her, made that struggle enjoyable. She wrestled with the challenges with great joy and exuberance.

In those days, love marriages were the rare phenomenon and inter-caste marriages weren’t accepted that easily by families as they get today. Somehow, she was welcomed in my dad’s family but often treated as an outcast. She was Sindhi and my father – Bengali. Two distant language and culture within itself. However, she beat the odds and mastered the language of my paternal origin. She could not only speak but write as well. This is something I rarely observe in any woman today. I must appreciate my father here. He didn’t learn to write but at least got his tongue trained to speak Sindhi with her relatives.

The woman who hardly moved a cup or a glass until her mother was alive, was now doing everything that one requires to know and exercise to be self-sufficient. Her strong-willed and positive approach to tackle challenges at different juncture of life is nothing less than the living case-study for someone to follow and learn.

She understood the real value of money. She strongly believed in an adage – “A rupee saved is a rupee earned”. After all, that’s what helped my father to buy our first house. Though she stopped officially working post her marriage, but she continued to support him through random activities. She gave tuition, did her tailoring course and had become a professional tailor. She single-handedly managed us, my father and all the aforesaid activities. Recalling these instances, in bits and pieces, gives me a reality check. If I could do even half of the things, she did I would have been in a much better position than I am today.

In her life, so far, she hardly paid any attention to herself. Her youth was vigorously drained in the hardship of enabling things for us and the family. During which she ignored the toll her health and body was bearing.

Eventually, she had to undergo 3 major operations. She is alive but without a couple of organs (Uterus and Gall Bladder), yet she hasn’t allowed them to affect her by any means. Come what may, she never allowed her weakness to overpower at all. But at times, she would get immersed in deep thought to figure what she could have done to prevent these things from happening. (In my opinion, there are a few things that she could do to avoid). However, soon she would dismiss it blaming it on her doings during previous birth. She would often say –

“Pichle janam ke paapo ki saaza” which means paying for your sins at present but committed in your previous birth.

I wonder if I would be able to match her up one day. Many of my relative say that I am her exact replica. Our nature and most of our habits are same. That means some of her aspects have rubbed onto me. Honestly, that’s so comforting. Although, I wish if I also could absorb her habit of saving money. She manages her finances beautifully which happens to be my awful weakness. That one has gone to my brother. He does that well.

Anyways, the woman to whom I consider to be the most influential certainly makes sense. It isn’t false claim. Every inch of it is true. And the way she has tackled the most difficult situations in her life is more than inspiring for me. I fear if I would be able to showcase even a percent of character in such circumstances than what she actually did. Though I have gained enough from her experiences towards her health. In a way, she has taught me to keep my health as the priority. So, I would refrain myself getting caught there and take good care.

Hence, the most loving and caring woman, the most influential and inspiring is my mother.

I would like to take this opportunity to dedicate this writing to all the mothers out there. Believe you me, you guys rock.