For The Child That Had To Grow Up Too Quickly

Being the eldest son in an Indian household compelled him to fend for himself as soon as it was possible,

Always eager to learn new things, then and now, he couldn’t learn how to communicate his feelings well,

He didn’t know back then that this flaw of his that wasn’t his fault would become the reason that he’d preferred solitude over the company after growing up,

I wish someone had lent the child a shoulder to cry when he needed it after seeing his parents fight, and never showed up to school for he broke down mid-way on his journey there,

I wish he had someone to lean on like his younger siblings did, for that would have helped him ask for help when he needed it and not be too hard on himself when he grew up,

As a father, he wants his children to avoid carrying out any difficult tasks or responsibilities,

Being the eldest son compelled him to make things easier for his younger siblings,

He pretends to not feel any pain when he’s sick because he wants to set an example for his children who look up to him,

He doesn’t realize that the child who hid his pain by not crying in front of his younger ones is trying to come up to the surface,

He doesn’t realize that the child who withstood the torment of suppressing his feelings hopes for his older version to heal and become happy for once,

He doesn’t admit it but his children whom he ensured didn’t grow up too quickly see through him, at the child that looks back at them with poignancy in his eyes,

Happy, that his children got the childhood he wished for,

Sad, that his older version still suppresses his emotions and wants everyone in his household to depend on him, and look up to him.

I wish the child had realized that he wasn’t obliged to become a father figure for his younger siblings,

So today, when he actually is a father, his children would find sweetness instead of bitterness in his eyes.

I wish someone had told the child that it was okay to fail and fall for once,

So that today, he wouldn’t be disappointed in himself every time he failed to give some luxury to his children.

His children know that for they don’t have to grow up too quickly,

It’s for the child who had to grow up too quickly and who wasn’t told that.

But because it’s too late for my wishes to be fulfilled,

I now, only wish for the child to live through birthdays that bring him happiness and love, equivalent to the number of times he denied himself the comfort he deserved.