Overthinking Life

I'm tired of trying to prioritise myself in your life, 

I've been choking myself with the pain equivalent to slitting my throat with a knife;

The stoned heart keeps changing sides each night in bed, 

The tears have run dry with that chaos in my head;

I tried to adjust, express, explain my pain, 

I've only lost myself with no gain;

I've seen myself type "how to be happy" in the Google search bar, 

I've seen the results of that search fail on my stress bar;

Emotions distinguish humans from other beings they say, 

Then why do humans put those emotions at bay?

And why can't I care less & smile more,

Why do I always lose despite a perfect score?

Why do we love, and why do we care?

Why do we just sit and stare?

No time in hand yet so much to do,

Does this overthinking kill you too?